¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Write about how you cope with your fears.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-12-06 445

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are fears that you can work hard to get rid of and there are fears that cannot be removed no matter how hard I try.
In case of fear of height, it does not disappear no matter how hard you try.
In my case, I tried to adapt.
As I adjusted from a short height, I tried to know how high I could actually endure.
It can be reduced to some extent, but there is absolutely no solution.
However, almost all fears encountered in life can be eliminated.
First, we must understand the nature of fear.
Many people are afraid of the unsettling future to come.
I've had the same experience a lot.
But almost all of the fears I met never occurred.
And actually the fear that will arise in the future wasn't actually a fear that could be prevented no matter how hard I tried.
In the end, it doesn't change even if I care about fear.
If I meet fear, my solution is to work hard on what I have to do today.
That is the way to overcome fear and prepare for the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, I just finished reading your essay about fear, and I really enjoyed it. Your insights about how fear can be both manageable and persistent were thought-provoking. I especially liked how you shared your personal experiences, like trying to adapt and face your fear of heights. It made the essay relatable and inspiring. Great job!

~ T. Lia

There are fears that you can work hard to get rid of and there are fears that cannot be removed no matter how hard I try.
>> There are fears you can work hard to overcome, and there are fears that cannot be eliminated no matter how hard I try.

In case of fear of height, it does not disappear no matter how hard you try.
>> In the case of a fear of heights, it does not disappear no matter how hard you try.

In my case, I tried to adapt.
>> CORRECT

As I adjusted from a short height, I tried to know how high I could actually endure.
>>As I adjusted to greater heights, I tried to determine how high I could actually endure.

It can be reduced to some extent, but there is absolutely no solution.
>> It can be reduced to some extent, but there is no absolute solution.

However, almost all fears encountered in life can be eliminated.
>> CORRECT

First, we must understand the nature of fear.
>> CORRECT

Many people are afraid of the unsettling future to come.
>> Many people are afraid of the uncertain future.

I've had the same experience a lot.
>> I¡¯ve had similar experiences many times.

But almost all of the fears I met never occurred.
>> But almost all of the fears I imagined never came true.

And actually the fear that will arise in the future wasn't actually a fear that could be prevented no matter how hard I tried.
>> And the fear I anticipated for the future wasn¡¯t something that could be prevented, no matter how hard I tried.

In the end, it doesn't change even if I care about fear.
>> In the end, nothing changes even if I dwell on my fears.

If I meet fear, my solution is to work hard on what I have to do today.
>> When I face fear, my solution is to focus on working hard on what I need to do today.

That is the way to overcome fear and prepare for the future.
>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139382 \"What role did you play in the film production?\" ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 7
139381 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1012
139380 Writing task: Can a person enjoy tranquility at their workplace?... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1109
139379 What¡¯s your favorite weather? Why do you like that weather? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1153
139378 Does reading a lot help a person become a good writer? ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1144
139377 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1122
139376 Essay:Although parents are responsible for raising a child,... do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1113
139375 8/22 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 2
139374 What kind of people do you like best? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 0
139373 Writing task: What is the color of your bedroom? Why did you... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1497
139372 Homework1 À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 6
139371 The best leaders ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1137
139370 MY ROOM ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1857
139369 Aside from financial reasons, why do we need to have a job? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1208
139368 Are home-cooked meals the best? What¡¯s the best thing to do... ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1413
139367 What challenges do you face when planning a family gathering,... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 934
139366 Have you ever had a dream that seemed impossible? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1142
139365 method ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1418
139364 What is the most important lesson in life that you have learned? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1137
139363 if you cook breakfast, do you cook for your whole family ?, or... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1585

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04