¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The role of media have to do restrain the government

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çü
2024-12-06 434

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Journalist has responsible for making to go toward the government and corporation for improving people. So I agree that they mostly write and report bad news. But The news don't have to deliver the situation, have to be know cause of foundation about regulation of goverment, awarness of society, prejudice of peopel etc. For example, Yesterday, I would't like belive the situation that Korea's president declared the notice. At that time, There came into so many news and real time reporting news on Youtube. But, many news got scared people and not deliver cause. I think that good news is that change people's knowledge and opinion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Ms. Ella!  You present a compelling argument with well-reasoned points. Your analysis ties back to the topic effectively! While the structure of your essay is clear, the transitions between some paragraphs could be improved to make the argument flow more smoothly. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The Journalist has responsible for making to go toward the government and corporation for improving people. 
>>> The journalist is responsible for engaging with the government and corporations to advocate for the betterment of society.
So I agree that they mostly write and report bad news. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But The news don't have to deliver the situation, have to be know cause of foundation about regulation of goverment, awarness of society, prejudice of peopel etc. 
>>> The news should not only report the situation but also provide insight into the underlying factors, such as government regulations, societal awareness, and people's prejudices.
For example, Yesterday, I would't like belive the situation that Korea's president declared the notice.
>>>For example, yesterday, I could hardly believe the situation when the President of Korea made the announcement.
 At that time, There came into so many news and real time reporting news on Youtube. 
>>> At that time, many news reports and real-time updates started flooding YouTube.
But, many news got scared people and not deliver cause. 
>>> However, many news reports frightened people without explaining the underlying causes.
I think that good news is that change people's knowledge and opinion.
>>> I think that good news can change people's knowledge and opinions.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140743 Would you have a part-time job in the future to get extra money... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 998
140742 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 878
140741 What do you add when you make egg salad? What kind of salad... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 883
140740 What kind of hobbies do you want to start? Why? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 853
140739 How important do you think appearance is in daily life? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 1
140738 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 956
140737 Why are the ambition important? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 890
140736 How can a smile communicate feelings or intentions without... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 845
140735 What are the disadvantages of booking a flight one year in... ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 815
140734 What are the advantages of being an early riser? ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 825
140733 What are the advantages of booking flights online? ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 869
140732 October,18 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 811
140731 What is a place from your childhood that holds a lot of memories... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 8
140730 30Oct2024_home work ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 865
140729 You have enough money to purchase either a house or a busineess.... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 657
140728 Homework Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 842
140727 Costly health care ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 834
140726 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-31 1
140725 Homework ¾ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-30 644
140724 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-30 10

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04