¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The role of media have to do restrain the government

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çü
2024-12-06 210

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Journalist has responsible for making to go toward the government and corporation for improving people. So I agree that they mostly write and report bad news. But The news don't have to deliver the situation, have to be know cause of foundation about regulation of goverment, awarness of society, prejudice of peopel etc. For example, Yesterday, I would't like belive the situation that Korea's president declared the notice. At that time, There came into so many news and real time reporting news on Youtube. But, many news got scared people and not deliver cause. I think that good news is that change people's knowledge and opinion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Ms. Ella!  You present a compelling argument with well-reasoned points. Your analysis ties back to the topic effectively! While the structure of your essay is clear, the transitions between some paragraphs could be improved to make the argument flow more smoothly. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The Journalist has responsible for making to go toward the government and corporation for improving people. 
>>> The journalist is responsible for engaging with the government and corporations to advocate for the betterment of society.
So I agree that they mostly write and report bad news. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But The news don't have to deliver the situation, have to be know cause of foundation about regulation of goverment, awarness of society, prejudice of peopel etc. 
>>> The news should not only report the situation but also provide insight into the underlying factors, such as government regulations, societal awareness, and people's prejudices.
For example, Yesterday, I would't like belive the situation that Korea's president declared the notice.
>>>For example, yesterday, I could hardly believe the situation when the President of Korea made the announcement.
 At that time, There came into so many news and real time reporting news on Youtube. 
>>> At that time, many news reports and real-time updates started flooding YouTube.
But, many news got scared people and not deliver cause. 
>>> However, many news reports frightened people without explaining the underlying causes.
I think that good news is that change people's knowledge and opinion.
>>> I think that good news can change people's knowledge and opinions.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141024 Who is the healthiest person you know? What do they do to stay... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 378
141023 People get exercise while playing sports. Which sports are the... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 298
141022 How do you begin your day? Write about it. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 316
141021 Do you think it\'s important to have a buddy? Why or why not? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 1
141020 Are you close to your neighbors? How do you get along with them? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 283
141019 People ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 372
141018 Dolphinsdoll ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 357
141017 When do you prefer having a family gathering? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 384
141016 the bood and the movie ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 0
141015 To teacher ±è*¿ë ¿Ï·á 2024-11-17 393
141014 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-16 298
141013 WRITING TASK ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-11-16 1
141012 HOOMEWORK ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-16 298
141011 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 461
141010 What does \"don\'t judge a book by its cover\" mean? Do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 456
141009 What would you say if you could talk to your future self? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 367
141008 11/14(Thu) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 537
141007 11/15(Fri) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 432
141006 Home work for wednesday ( 13th Novemder ) ±è*¿ë ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 438
141005 >> Should people of all ages play games? Explain. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-15 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04