¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The role of media have to do restrain the government

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çü
2024-12-06 198

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The Journalist has responsible for making to go toward the government and corporation for improving people. So I agree that they mostly write and report bad news. But The news don't have to deliver the situation, have to be know cause of foundation about regulation of goverment, awarness of society, prejudice of peopel etc. For example, Yesterday, I would't like belive the situation that Korea's president declared the notice. At that time, There came into so many news and real time reporting news on Youtube. But, many news got scared people and not deliver cause. I think that good news is that change people's knowledge and opinion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there Ms. Ella!  You present a compelling argument with well-reasoned points. Your analysis ties back to the topic effectively! While the structure of your essay is clear, the transitions between some paragraphs could be improved to make the argument flow more smoothly. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The Journalist has responsible for making to go toward the government and corporation for improving people. 
>>> The journalist is responsible for engaging with the government and corporations to advocate for the betterment of society.
So I agree that they mostly write and report bad news. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But The news don't have to deliver the situation, have to be know cause of foundation about regulation of goverment, awarness of society, prejudice of peopel etc. 
>>> The news should not only report the situation but also provide insight into the underlying factors, such as government regulations, societal awareness, and people's prejudices.
For example, Yesterday, I would't like belive the situation that Korea's president declared the notice.
>>>For example, yesterday, I could hardly believe the situation when the President of Korea made the announcement.
 At that time, There came into so many news and real time reporting news on Youtube. 
>>> At that time, many news reports and real-time updates started flooding YouTube.
But, many news got scared people and not deliver cause. 
>>> However, many news reports frightened people without explaining the underlying causes.
I think that good news is that change people's knowledge and opinion.
>>> I think that good news can change people's knowledge and opinions.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141666 Do you prefer long trips or short trips? What are the benefits... N ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141665 Homework N ±è*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-25 0
141664 dance N ¹Î*Á¤ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-25 0
141663 performing N ¹Î*Á¤ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-25 0
141662 change N ¹Î*Á¤ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-25 0
141661 If you had a million dollars, would you still work? N ÀÌ*¹ü ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-25 0
141660 If you could work from anywhere in the world for a year, where... N ÀÌ*¹ü ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-25 0
141659 Which is a better choice, travelling alone or travelling with... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 102
141658 Have you ever complained about the food or service in a... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 2
141657 Write about Christmas days plans. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 106
141656 Do you think dreams have any meaning? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 107
141655 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 105
141654 Review ±è*Çý ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-24 0
141653 I will submit my English writing assignments by re-solving what... ±è*Çý ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-24 0
141652 Do you think convenience stores should offer healthier food... ÀÓ*¹Ì ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-24 106
141651 Ãß°¡ ¹®Á¦ ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 109
141650 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 102
141649 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 0
141648 What is included in your \"Bucket List\" ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 113
141647 What might happen if you don¡¯t use any phones in a day, week,... ÇÑ*¿¬ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-12-23 109

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04