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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The teacher has gotten heavy responsibility from the sociaty.

작성자: 이*형
2024-12-03 421

회원님의 영작문

In korea, Many teacher have quited their job because take heavy tasks and difficult mind toward chilldrens and parents. Somtimes, Parents required their chilldren's teacher many detailed things for example take care of drinking water, check their bag and continue to see they somthing to do. A few months ago, There came into social issue that a few elementary school teachers suicided theirself. But we don't look for any solutions for what is foundation cause. Just Adminisrators make more regulations and governance for teachers. I think we need discussion about teacher's role for chilldren.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Wishing you a fantastic week Ms. Ella! I am particularly impressed with your discussion on the issue of whether school teachers should be more responsible for the social and intellectual development of students than parents. You have generally added supporting arguments and necessary point of views. Good job!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
In korea, Many teacher have quited their job because take heavy tasks and difficult mind toward chilldrens and parents. 
>>> In Korea, many teachers have quit their jobs due to the heavy workload and the stress caused by challenging relationships with children and parents.
Somtimes, Parents required their chilldren's teacher many detailed things for example take care of drinking water, check their bag and continue to see they somthing to do. 
>>> Sometimes, parents demand that teachers handle many detailed tasks, such as ensuring their children drink enough water, checking their bags, and constantly monitoring their activities.
A few months ago, There came into social issue that a few elementary school teachers suicided theirself.
>>> A few months ago, a social issue emerged when several elementary school teachers took their own lives.
 But we don't look for any solutions for what is foundation cause. 
>>>But we haven't sought any solutions to address the underlying cause.
Just Adminisrators make more regulations and governance for teachers. 
>>> Administrators only impose more regulations and rules on teachers.
I think we need discussion about teacher's role for chilldren.
>>> I believe we need to have a discussion about the role of teachers in the lives of children.
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