무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 노*철
2024-12-02 478

회원님의 영작문

A) The definition of health as defined by the WHO is “Health is a dynamic state of complete physical, mental, spiritual and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”
The data shows whether the mental health is as important as the physical health.
The report on the cause of death in Korea in 2023 is as follows.
Suicide is the number one cause of death for teenagers to people in their 30s.
Cancer is the cause of death after the 40s.
If mental health is poor, the quality of life will inevitably deteriorate.
When there is a mental health problem, it harms not only the family but also the community in which they live, unlike people with poor physical health.
There are cases in which people who have no relationship are hurt.
However, the problem is that it is not revealed on the outside.
It's sad that either way it's not healthy.
However, the number of patients with mental health problems continues to increase over time, and the harm to society continues to grow.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi David. I just wanted to say I had such a great time talking to you about health issues and the remedies you do at home for our last class. It was really insightful and enjoyable to hear your perspective! I also really admire how you still manage to diligently answer your homework amidst everything. Keep up the amazing work! You’re doing great! 


~ T. Lia

The definition of health as defined by the WHO is “Health is a dynamic state of complete physical, mental, spiritual and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”
>> CORRECT

The data shows whether the mental health is as important as the physical health.
>> The data shows that mental health is as important as physical health.

The report on the cause of death in Korea in 2023 is as follows.
>> CORRECT

Suicide is the number one cause of death for teenagers to people in their 30s.
>> CORRECT

Cancer is the cause of death after the 40s.
>> Cancer becomes the leading cause of death for those in their 40s and older.

If mental health is poor, the quality of life will inevitably deteriorate.
>> CORRECT

When there is a mental health problem, it harms not only the family but also the community in which they live, unlike people with poor physical health.
>> When there is a mental health problem, it harms not only the family but also the community in which they live, unlike physical health issues.

There are cases in which people who have no relationship are hurt.
>> There are cases where unrelated people are also affected.

However, the problem is that it is not revealed on the outside.
>> CORRECT or However, the problem is that it is not outwardly visible.

It's sad that either way it's not healthy.
>> CORRECT or It's sad that, in either case, it is not healthy.

However, the number of patients with mental health problems continues to increase over time, and the harm to society continues to grow.
>> CORRECT
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
139899 Homework 노*철 진행중 2024-09-13 1148
139898 HOMEWORK FOR 09.13.2024 WRITING TASK: What’s the most annoying... 임*지 완료 2024-09-13 3
139897 Which beverages do you think are the most popular in the world... 임*미 완료 2024-09-13 1298
139896 Do you have any harmless bad habits? Do they annoy other people? 김*연 완료 2024-09-13 1996
139895 Homework 김*님 완료 2024-09-13 1155
139894 Homework 오*현 완료 2024-09-12 3
139893 homework 이*도 완료 2024-09-12 1094
139892 The positive side of \"Are smartphones ruining our world?\" 손*희 완료 2024-09-12 1210
139891 How do you usually spend your Chuseok holiday? 윤*원 완료 2024-09-12 0
139890 home work 신*린 완료 2024-09-12 1216
139889 Home work 신*라 완료 2024-09-12 1162
139888 Homework 김*숙 완료 2024-09-12 956
139887 What do you think is the most mysterious planet? 박*은 완료 2024-09-12 1367
139886 What do you think of the proverb, \"beauty is in the eye of the... 이*희 완료 2024-09-12 2
139885 An adjective to describe me is .. 이*임 완료 2024-09-12 2
139884 Q) What did you like about school when you were a child? 최*영 완료 2024-09-12 0
139883 Second homework in this week 최*연 완료 2024-09-12 972
139882 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-09-12 1212
139881 9/12(Thu) homework 김*희 완료 2024-09-12 1235
139880 Why is it important to obey your parents? 박*현 완료 2024-09-12 1051

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]