¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-11-29 442

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A) In the past, my hobbies were reading, drawing. men's choir, writing, and playing classical guitar.
It seems that most of them were static activities.
Looking back at myself in elementary and middle school, I liked soccer very much, and when I was in elementary school student, I was a school soccer player.
Most of the hobbies I enjoyed as an adult, I started hobbies when I felt that my life was stagnant and I needed to change.
Through such hobby activities, I discover another talent of myself and these motivate me in life.
Whatever we do, over time, our work falls into mannerism.
I also lost the importance of my treatment and lost the appreciation of my life as a dentist because I have been doing dental work for a long time.
However, through these hobbies, I look back on my life and reorient myself.
When I have passion and goals through hobbies, I will become passionate about my job again and strive for better dental treatment.
My hobbies and jobs are always growing together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

David, I truly appreciate your dedication and effort in completing your homework even when you're not feeling your best. It shows great strength and commitment, and I admire that so much. Your essay was thoughtful and well-written. You did a great job expressing your ideas to the best of your ability, and I can see how much effort you put into it. Keep up the excellent work, and remember to take care of yourself too. You're doing amazing!


~ T. Lia

In the past, my hobbies were reading, drawing. men's choir, writing, and playing classical guitar.
>> In the past, my hobbies were reading, drawing, men's choir, writing, and playing classical guitar.

It seems that most of them were static activities.
>> CORRECT

Looking back at myself in elementary and middle school, I liked soccer very much, and when I was in elementary school student, I was a school soccer player.
>> Looking back at myself in elementary and middle school, I liked soccer very much, and when I was an elementary school student, I was a school soccer player.

Most of the hobbies I enjoyed as an adult, I started hobbies when I felt that my life was stagnant and I needed to change.
>> Most of the hobbies I enjoyed as an adult, I started when I felt that my life was stagnant and I needed to change.

Through such hobby activities, I discover another talent of myself and these motivate me in life.
>> Through such hobby activities, I discover other talents within myself, and these motivate me in life.

Whatever we do, over time, our work falls into mannerism.
>> CORRECT

I also lost the importance of my treatment and lost the appreciation of my life as a dentist because I have been doing dental work for a long time.
>> I also lost the importance of my treatment and lost the appreciation of my life as a dentist because I had been doing dental work for a long time.

However, through these hobbies, I look back on my life and reorient myself.
>> CORRECT

When I have passion and goals through hobbies, I will become passionate about my job again and strive for better dental treatment.
>> When I have passion and goals through hobbies, I become passionate about my job again and strive for better dental treatment.

My hobbies and jobs are always growing together.
>> My hobbies and job are always growing together.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139974 luggage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139973 What do you do when you see someone in danger? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1266
139972 How important are cosmetics? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1382
139971 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1161
139970 What significance does Chuseok hold for you personally, and how... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1115
139969 \"character is power\" ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139968 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1110
139967 The number of \"likes\" ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1241
139966 Homework : Do you like cooking? What\'s your favorite meal to... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 5
139965 What do you think is the difference between a blind date and an... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 0
139964 What challenges do people with disability face? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1144
139963 Have you ever been so drunk you can\'t remember what you did?... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 988
139962 A corporate culture of drinking a lot ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1143
139961 How does your family celebrate Chuseok? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1
139960 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1
139959 The negative side of \"Are humans too dependent on computers?\" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1134
139958 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 3
139957 Which is better, a big family or a small family? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1074
139956 What do you want to do this coming weekend? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1406
139955 This meaning to beauty is in the eye of the beholder Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1137

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04