¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-11-29 511

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A) In the past, my hobbies were reading, drawing. men's choir, writing, and playing classical guitar.
It seems that most of them were static activities.
Looking back at myself in elementary and middle school, I liked soccer very much, and when I was in elementary school student, I was a school soccer player.
Most of the hobbies I enjoyed as an adult, I started hobbies when I felt that my life was stagnant and I needed to change.
Through such hobby activities, I discover another talent of myself and these motivate me in life.
Whatever we do, over time, our work falls into mannerism.
I also lost the importance of my treatment and lost the appreciation of my life as a dentist because I have been doing dental work for a long time.
However, through these hobbies, I look back on my life and reorient myself.
When I have passion and goals through hobbies, I will become passionate about my job again and strive for better dental treatment.
My hobbies and jobs are always growing together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

David, I truly appreciate your dedication and effort in completing your homework even when you're not feeling your best. It shows great strength and commitment, and I admire that so much. Your essay was thoughtful and well-written. You did a great job expressing your ideas to the best of your ability, and I can see how much effort you put into it. Keep up the excellent work, and remember to take care of yourself too. You're doing amazing!


~ T. Lia

In the past, my hobbies were reading, drawing. men's choir, writing, and playing classical guitar.
>> In the past, my hobbies were reading, drawing, men's choir, writing, and playing classical guitar.

It seems that most of them were static activities.
>> CORRECT

Looking back at myself in elementary and middle school, I liked soccer very much, and when I was in elementary school student, I was a school soccer player.
>> Looking back at myself in elementary and middle school, I liked soccer very much, and when I was an elementary school student, I was a school soccer player.

Most of the hobbies I enjoyed as an adult, I started hobbies when I felt that my life was stagnant and I needed to change.
>> Most of the hobbies I enjoyed as an adult, I started when I felt that my life was stagnant and I needed to change.

Through such hobby activities, I discover another talent of myself and these motivate me in life.
>> Through such hobby activities, I discover other talents within myself, and these motivate me in life.

Whatever we do, over time, our work falls into mannerism.
>> CORRECT

I also lost the importance of my treatment and lost the appreciation of my life as a dentist because I have been doing dental work for a long time.
>> I also lost the importance of my treatment and lost the appreciation of my life as a dentist because I had been doing dental work for a long time.

However, through these hobbies, I look back on my life and reorient myself.
>> CORRECT

When I have passion and goals through hobbies, I will become passionate about my job again and strive for better dental treatment.
>> When I have passion and goals through hobbies, I become passionate about my job again and strive for better dental treatment.

My hobbies and jobs are always growing together.
>> My hobbies and job are always growing together.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139060 My own Cafe ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 789
139059 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 857
139058 What\'s the worst experience you\'ve had in your hometown? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 900
139057 8/9 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 2
139056 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 1
139055 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 2
139054 What are the advantages of using credit cards compared to cash? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 2
139053 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 4
139052 What was the most popular music when you were 12 years old, what... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1097
139051 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 0
139050 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1865
139049 [HW]What body language would you like your country to adopt? Why? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1046
139048 The negative side on \" Should people become vegetarian? \" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 943
139047 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1
139046 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1061
139045 What do you think of your class leaders? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1021
139044 Popular car amongst peer ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 940
139043 Writing task: What do you think is the most challenging role for... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1047
139042 Having a conversation with native speakers of English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 887
139041 Q) How can a person effectively prepare for a job interview? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04