¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-11-29 486

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A) In the past, my hobbies were reading, drawing. men's choir, writing, and playing classical guitar.
It seems that most of them were static activities.
Looking back at myself in elementary and middle school, I liked soccer very much, and when I was in elementary school student, I was a school soccer player.
Most of the hobbies I enjoyed as an adult, I started hobbies when I felt that my life was stagnant and I needed to change.
Through such hobby activities, I discover another talent of myself and these motivate me in life.
Whatever we do, over time, our work falls into mannerism.
I also lost the importance of my treatment and lost the appreciation of my life as a dentist because I have been doing dental work for a long time.
However, through these hobbies, I look back on my life and reorient myself.
When I have passion and goals through hobbies, I will become passionate about my job again and strive for better dental treatment.
My hobbies and jobs are always growing together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

David, I truly appreciate your dedication and effort in completing your homework even when you're not feeling your best. It shows great strength and commitment, and I admire that so much. Your essay was thoughtful and well-written. You did a great job expressing your ideas to the best of your ability, and I can see how much effort you put into it. Keep up the excellent work, and remember to take care of yourself too. You're doing amazing!


~ T. Lia

In the past, my hobbies were reading, drawing. men's choir, writing, and playing classical guitar.
>> In the past, my hobbies were reading, drawing, men's choir, writing, and playing classical guitar.

It seems that most of them were static activities.
>> CORRECT

Looking back at myself in elementary and middle school, I liked soccer very much, and when I was in elementary school student, I was a school soccer player.
>> Looking back at myself in elementary and middle school, I liked soccer very much, and when I was an elementary school student, I was a school soccer player.

Most of the hobbies I enjoyed as an adult, I started hobbies when I felt that my life was stagnant and I needed to change.
>> Most of the hobbies I enjoyed as an adult, I started when I felt that my life was stagnant and I needed to change.

Through such hobby activities, I discover another talent of myself and these motivate me in life.
>> Through such hobby activities, I discover other talents within myself, and these motivate me in life.

Whatever we do, over time, our work falls into mannerism.
>> CORRECT

I also lost the importance of my treatment and lost the appreciation of my life as a dentist because I have been doing dental work for a long time.
>> I also lost the importance of my treatment and lost the appreciation of my life as a dentist because I had been doing dental work for a long time.

However, through these hobbies, I look back on my life and reorient myself.
>> CORRECT

When I have passion and goals through hobbies, I will become passionate about my job again and strive for better dental treatment.
>> When I have passion and goals through hobbies, I become passionate about my job again and strive for better dental treatment.

My hobbies and jobs are always growing together.
>> My hobbies and job are always growing together.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139436 It\'s for my interview ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 7
139435 2024.08.25 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 0
139434 strengths ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 5
139433 homework day 8 ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-24 2
139432 Hi, Divina °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-24 1
139431 The house that I want to build ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-24 5
139430 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139429 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1
139428 Reflect on a time when you faced midweek challenges. How did you... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1473
139427 About my friends ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1152
139426 Dangers of dieting ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1258
139425 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1019
139424 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139423 What are your favorite kinds of programs or shows? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1093
139422 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139421 The last writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139420 Home work 2 À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 7
139419 Would you like to live in your hometown forever? Why or why not? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1342
139418 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139417 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04