무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What makes people violent?

작성자: 이*윤
2024-11-27 916

회원님의 영작문



HAHAHA;;;
Check the attached file, please.
Have a nice day!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun~

Do not worry when you send me a longer composition~ I appreciate every work you do ^__^ Thank you for always giving it time~

Chammy

There seem to be many reasons for making people violent.

OR

>>People appear to be violent for a variety of reasons.

First, there is a person who is inherently violent.

>> First, there is an inherently violent person.

For example, if you were rasied by parents with violent tendencies, violence would be made to form in the environment and what you learned while being disciplined would be violence.

>> For example, if you were raised by parents with violent tendencies, violence would be made to form in the environment and what you learned while being disciplined would be violence.

Or

>> For instance, if you were brought up by parents who were aggressive, a violent environment would be created, and you would learn to be violent through discipline.

Second, when something angry happens, it can become violent.

>> Second, when anger occurs, it can become violent.

There may be someone who is normally a good person and then changes from the usual when something angry happens. 

Or

>> Some people are good at birth, but when they get frustrated, they start acting differently.

But most people are not violent just because they are angry.

Or

>> Yet other people don't lose their composure when they're frustrated.

Third, when you want to bluff in front of others, you can turn violent.

OR

>> Third, you can become violent when you want to bluff in front of other people.

This is a lot of cases where men are acting in front of men or women to raise their reputation.

>> There are a lot of cases where men are acting in front of men or women to raise their reputation.

Fourth, because you can act to be recognized by someone.

>> Fourth, you are acting to be recognized by someone.

Gang gangsters and criminals often use impulsive methods like violence to be recognized by someone, which can be dangerous.

>> Gangsters and criminals often use impulsive methods like violence to be recognized by someone, which can be dangerous.

Fifth, you can show violence as a way to express that you are scared.

For example, you can think of it as a case where a very scared person uses violence unknowingly because he or she is terrified as if he or she were unwittingly coming out of the fist.

>> Correct


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
139358 About my dream house 박*현 완료 2024-08-21 1217
139357 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-08-21 1
139356 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-08-21 1731
139355 homework 심*진 완료 2024-08-21 2
139354 How can reading benefit you? 이*희 완료 2024-08-21 1277
139353 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-08-21 1
139352 How often do you have big family get-togethers? hat happens... 박*은 완료 2024-08-21 1171
139351 Do you like spending time at home? 권*민 완료 2024-08-21 1274
139350 Do you sometimes compete with your friends? In what way? 현* 완료 2024-08-21 1330
139349 How can students become smart? 최*한 완료 2024-08-21 1287
139348 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-08-21 1386
139347 Can you share any interesting stories or memorable experiences... 박*은 완료 2024-08-21 1123
139346 schedule 민*정 완료 2024-08-21 1
139345 What are some healthy habits you try to maintain in your daily... 박*은 완료 2024-08-21 1036
139344 2024.08.21 양*율 완료 2024-08-21 3
139343 The spreading of fake news 이*규 완료 2024-08-21 1182
139342 What movie did you see and get disappointed? 김*진 완료 2024-08-21 0
139341 Do you think men enjoy sports more than women? 이*태 완료 2024-08-21 1384
139340 Explain the saying \"Time is Gold.\" 이*태 완료 2024-08-21 1439
139339 What is the most unusual thing you\'ve ever eaten? Did it taste... 이*태 완료 2024-08-21 1252

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]