¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is the best activity for tourism, domestic or international travelling?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-11-26 140

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Tourism is an important activity that offers people new experiences. Here are some arguments supporting that international travel is the best activity for tourism.
First, international travel provides a rich cultural experience. By immersing oneself in the unique traditions and languages of different countries, travelers can directly experience the diversity of the world. This greatly helps in broadening one¡¯s perspective and understanding various cultures. For example, visiting historic cities in Europe or exploring traditional villages in Asia offers invaluable experiences that cannot be obtained through domestic travel.
Second, looking at the numerical trends in international travel, we can see a rise in the number of overseas tourists in recent years. According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances where the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods. This indicates a growing demand for international travel.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! This piece is great! The world is your stage so feel free to roam and learn. I appreciate the points you raised in this essay. Let us discuss more next time. See you!
--Teacher Anji


Tourism is an important activity that offers people new experiences. 
>> CORRECT
Here are some arguments supporting that international travel is the best activity for tourism.
>> CORRECT
First, international travel provides a rich cultural experience.
>> CORRECT
By immersing oneself in the unique traditions and languages of different countries, travelers can directly experience the diversity of the world. 
>> CORRECT
This greatly helps in broadening one¡¯s perspective and understanding various cultures. 
>> This greatly helps broaden one¡¯s perspective and understanding of various cultures.
For example, visiting historic cities in Europe or exploring traditional villages in Asia offers invaluable experiences that cannot be obtained through domestic travel.
>> CORRECT
Second, looking at the numerical trends in international travel, we can see a rise in the number of overseas tourists in recent years. 
>> CORRECT
According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances where the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods. 
>> According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances when the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods.
This indicates a growing demand for international travel.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140488 right to protect celebrities\' private lives. ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 655
140487 What do you and your classmates do during your lunch break? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 554
140486 Do you like visiting Jeju Island? Why or why not? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 3
140485 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 526
140484 Does an age difference make it difficult to be friends? ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 575
140483 Is the weather in a country important when you choose a place to... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 3
140482 H/W 1017 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 531
140481 Please give me three sentences using the word \'booking ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 552
140480 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2
140479 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 555
140478 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 556
140477 before ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 1
140476 an hour ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 1
140475 Respect my dauters\' decision. ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 489
140474 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 565
140473 Have you done the MBTI? What was the result
? Do you agree... ÀÎ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 594
140472 what are the benefits of collecting? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 563
140471 16.Oct.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1
140470 What do you think of the death penalty? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 1
140469 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04