¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is the best activity for tourism, domestic or international travelling?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-11-26 882

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Tourism is an important activity that offers people new experiences. Here are some arguments supporting that international travel is the best activity for tourism.
First, international travel provides a rich cultural experience. By immersing oneself in the unique traditions and languages of different countries, travelers can directly experience the diversity of the world. This greatly helps in broadening one¡¯s perspective and understanding various cultures. For example, visiting historic cities in Europe or exploring traditional villages in Asia offers invaluable experiences that cannot be obtained through domestic travel.
Second, looking at the numerical trends in international travel, we can see a rise in the number of overseas tourists in recent years. According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances where the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods. This indicates a growing demand for international travel.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! This piece is great! The world is your stage so feel free to roam and learn. I appreciate the points you raised in this essay. Let us discuss more next time. See you!
--Teacher Anji


Tourism is an important activity that offers people new experiences. 
>> CORRECT
Here are some arguments supporting that international travel is the best activity for tourism.
>> CORRECT
First, international travel provides a rich cultural experience.
>> CORRECT
By immersing oneself in the unique traditions and languages of different countries, travelers can directly experience the diversity of the world. 
>> CORRECT
This greatly helps in broadening one¡¯s perspective and understanding various cultures. 
>> This greatly helps broaden one¡¯s perspective and understanding of various cultures.
For example, visiting historic cities in Europe or exploring traditional villages in Asia offers invaluable experiences that cannot be obtained through domestic travel.
>> CORRECT
Second, looking at the numerical trends in international travel, we can see a rise in the number of overseas tourists in recent years. 
>> CORRECT
According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances where the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods. 
>> According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances when the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods.
This indicates a growing demand for international travel.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139322 8/21 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139321 How does social media influence the way people communicate with... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1294
139320 What do you like about your community? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1228
139319 What do you think is the right job for you when you grow up?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1116
139318 What did you do the day before yesterday and write about your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1682
139317 What\'s your thought on vending machines in elementary schools? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1376
139316 What do you think is the best way to go to school? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1767
139315 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139314 2024.08.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1150
139313 The positive side of peer pressure ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1612
139312 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1366
139311 homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139310 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 993
139309 Do you sometimes compete with your friends? In what way? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1546
139308 What are your usual food cravings? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139307 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1032
139306 befriend ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139305 Do you think students in Korea are given enough credit for their... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 0
139304 What is the most important item do you have? Why? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 5
139303 What\'s your weakness? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 12

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04