¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is the best activity for tourism, domestic or international travelling?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-11-26 736

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Tourism is an important activity that offers people new experiences. Here are some arguments supporting that international travel is the best activity for tourism.
First, international travel provides a rich cultural experience. By immersing oneself in the unique traditions and languages of different countries, travelers can directly experience the diversity of the world. This greatly helps in broadening one¡¯s perspective and understanding various cultures. For example, visiting historic cities in Europe or exploring traditional villages in Asia offers invaluable experiences that cannot be obtained through domestic travel.
Second, looking at the numerical trends in international travel, we can see a rise in the number of overseas tourists in recent years. According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances where the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods. This indicates a growing demand for international travel.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! This piece is great! The world is your stage so feel free to roam and learn. I appreciate the points you raised in this essay. Let us discuss more next time. See you!
--Teacher Anji


Tourism is an important activity that offers people new experiences. 
>> CORRECT
Here are some arguments supporting that international travel is the best activity for tourism.
>> CORRECT
First, international travel provides a rich cultural experience.
>> CORRECT
By immersing oneself in the unique traditions and languages of different countries, travelers can directly experience the diversity of the world. 
>> CORRECT
This greatly helps in broadening one¡¯s perspective and understanding various cultures. 
>> This greatly helps broaden one¡¯s perspective and understanding of various cultures.
For example, visiting historic cities in Europe or exploring traditional villages in Asia offers invaluable experiences that cannot be obtained through domestic travel.
>> CORRECT
Second, looking at the numerical trends in international travel, we can see a rise in the number of overseas tourists in recent years. 
>> CORRECT
According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances where the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods. 
>> According to the attached graph, there were frequent instances when the number of overseas tourists exceeded 2,600,000 during certain periods.
This indicates a growing demand for international travel.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139912 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1
139911 What do you do to relax after a busy day? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 3
139910 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 2
139909 What are the downsides to plastic? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1814
139908 Trends ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1493
139907 No pain No gain ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1
139906 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1595
139905 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1288
139904 What challenges do people with disability face? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1535
139903 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 3
139902 12.Sep.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 0
139901 Favorite god µµ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1651
139900 Do you prefer a planned vacation or a spontaneous one? Why? ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1505
139899 Homework ³ë*ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-13 1383
139898 HOMEWORK FOR 09.13.2024 WRITING TASK: What¡¯s the most annoying... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 3
139897 Which beverages do you think are the most popular in the world... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1659
139896 Do you have any harmless bad habits? Do they annoy other people? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 2217
139895 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1478
139894 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 3
139893 homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1313

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04