¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

It\'s a message that makes childhood is so tired.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çü
2024-11-26 1101

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People talk to chilldren "If you are so hard something, you can do anything". But I think It is not good message. This is because most people are good at something and bad at something. But I don't said that somthing I was bad at, I gave up quickly.
Sometimes we have to enjoy to do something and be satisfied to our results for examples speaking forign language, playing the piano, taking a exercise and so on. We can enjoy it for longer and grow by doing it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thanks for doing your essay Ms. Ella! Well done! Your knowledge of the dispute and the events surrounding it shows in your essay. It is clear that you understand the main points of contention, and you have discussed these in an easily understood way. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
People talk to chilldren "If you are so hard something, you can do anything".
>>> People often tell children, "If you try hard enough, you can do anything."
But I think It is not good message. 
>>> I believe it's not always the best message.
This is because most people are good at something and bad at something.
>>>The truth is, everyone is good at some things and not so good at others.
But I don't said that somthing I was bad at, I gave up quickly.
>>> But it's important to note that just because we struggle with something doesn't mean we should give up quickly.
Sometimes we have to enjoy to do something and be satisfied to our results for examples speaking forign language, playing the piano, taking a exercise and so on. 
>>> Sometimes, it's more about enjoying the process and being satisfied with our progress, rather than just aiming for perfection. For example, learning a foreign language, playing the piano, or exercising
We can enjoy it for longer and grow by doing it.
>>> We can find joy in these activities, and by doing so, we can improve and grow over time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141734 If you could create a new holiday, what would it celebrate, and... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1460
141733 Describe a place that makes you feel happy and explain why it¡¯s... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 960
141732 What are your new year\'s resolutions? Explain. ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1120
141731 How do companies in your country treat sick workers? Do... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 3
141730 How do you plan to stay motivated in continuing or doing your... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 998
141729 New Year beats inertia ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1190
141728 What¡¯s one change you want to make in your daily routine for... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 912
141727 Dear Gemma, I took a mistake!!! ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 1492
141726 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-02 2
141725 What schoolwork do you enjoy doing? Explain. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-01 1036
141724 How will you achieve your goals? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2024-12-31 1229
141723 How can the accident at Jeju Air be related to your course... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1445
141722 Provide at least five (5) adjectives that you can use to... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1101
141721 About dream Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 941
141720 Which do you prefer among these three to live in : an urban,... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 810
141719 December is almost over. What three adjectives best describe... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 894
141718 What do you think of the drama trend in korea? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1
141717 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 960
141716 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 957
141715 goal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04