¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

It\'s a message that makes childhood is so tired.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çü
2024-11-26 173

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People talk to chilldren "If you are so hard something, you can do anything". But I think It is not good message. This is because most people are good at something and bad at something. But I don't said that somthing I was bad at, I gave up quickly.
Sometimes we have to enjoy to do something and be satisfied to our results for examples speaking forign language, playing the piano, taking a exercise and so on. We can enjoy it for longer and grow by doing it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thanks for doing your essay Ms. Ella! Well done! Your knowledge of the dispute and the events surrounding it shows in your essay. It is clear that you understand the main points of contention, and you have discussed these in an easily understood way. Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
People talk to chilldren "If you are so hard something, you can do anything".
>>> People often tell children, "If you try hard enough, you can do anything."
But I think It is not good message. 
>>> I believe it's not always the best message.
This is because most people are good at something and bad at something.
>>>The truth is, everyone is good at some things and not so good at others.
But I don't said that somthing I was bad at, I gave up quickly.
>>> But it's important to note that just because we struggle with something doesn't mean we should give up quickly.
Sometimes we have to enjoy to do something and be satisfied to our results for examples speaking forign language, playing the piano, taking a exercise and so on. 
>>> Sometimes, it's more about enjoying the process and being satisfied with our progress, rather than just aiming for perfection. For example, learning a foreign language, playing the piano, or exercising
We can enjoy it for longer and grow by doing it.
>>> We can find joy in these activities, and by doing so, we can improve and grow over time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139929 Do you help your parents do some household chors? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 1130
139928 alchol party ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 793
139927 What do you do to relax after a busy day? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-18 0
139926 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-17 0
139925 How do you usually celebrate Chuseok? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-17 854
139924 What are your thoughts on gardening as a job. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-17 1153
139923 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-16 4
139922 Do you think modern life has limited the time we spend on... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-16 1
139921 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-15 928
139920 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-14 811
139919 What do you think of the proverb, \"beauty is in the eye of the... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 0
139918 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1
139917 What are the things best talked about over a drink? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 920
139916 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1
139915 According to your condition ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 563
139914 Can you talk about three people who have influenced your life? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 2
139913 Which foods are unhealthy? What is unhealthy about them? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 804
139912 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 1
139911 What do you do to relax after a busy day? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 3
139910 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-13 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04