¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2024-11-25 132

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q) Please write about the topic, "The Importance of Kindness as a Personality Trait.¡°

A) Kindness is important for everyone, even if we don't consider personality traits.
The question of how much kindness should be expressed is really difficult.
The other person may misunderstand because of too much kindness.
And if we continue to give the kindness to the other person, the other person may think of it as a right to be granted later.
This can happen especially when we express the kindness with money.
However, it would be better to show kindness in words to an introvert, and to an extrovert, it would be more necessary to show kindness in action.
However, this is only the basis of my judgment and not absolute.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David! Your thoughts on kindness are truly meaningful, and I can see the care you¡¯ve put into expressing them. I made a couple of small corrections, but overall, your message was heartfelt and impactful. Keep sharing your beautiful ideas with the world; it makes a difference! 


~ Teacher Lia



Kindness is important for everyone, even if we don't consider personality traits.
>> CORRECT

The question of how much kindness should be expressed is really difficult.
>> CORRECT

The other person may misunderstand because of too much kindness.
>> CORRECT

And if we continue to give the kindness to the other person, the other person may think of it as a right to be granted later.
>> And if we continue to give kindness to the other person, they may think of it as a right to be granted later.

This can happen especially when we express the kindness with money.
>> This can happen especially when we express kindness with money.

However, it would be better to show kindness in words to an introvert, and to an extrovert, it would be more necessary to show kindness in action.
>> CORRECT

However, this is only the basis of my judgment and not absolute.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139963 Have you ever been so drunk you can\'t remember what you did?... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 675
139962 A corporate culture of drinking a lot ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 835
139961 How does your family celebrate Chuseok? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1
139960 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1
139959 The negative side of \"Are humans too dependent on computers?\" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 807
139958 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 3
139957 Which is better, a big family or a small family? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 817
139956 What do you want to do this coming weekend? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1020
139955 This meaning to beauty is in the eye of the beholder Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 803
139954 What are the benefits and drawbacks of always making an effort... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 799
139953 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 763
139952 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 773
139951 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 3
139950 Tell me about your holiday plans. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1
139949 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 2
139948 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 0
139947 What do you think of PowerPoint? Are you good at using it? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 785
139946 The most memorable thing ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 861
139945 If you were President of Korea, what would you do to improve... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 3
139944 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 846

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04