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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How will you make your final presentation more engaging and informative?

작성자: 차*환
2024-11-24 186

회원님의 영작문

Since the last month, I was so busy for preparing a lot of presentations. Topics were about the treatment for young patients, especially with genetic mutation related with breast cancer. Actually, contents for these topics are very broad and complicated, so it’s not easy to understand with short lectures within 20 minutes.
To provide concise and exact knowledge, I emphasized some important slides with the photo of K-pop stars and sentences with the red color.
Moreover, I made a slide to summarize the important contents and attract the attention of the audience.
With these efforts, I thought my presentation was successful to give meaningful insights to a lot of researchers.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Dr. David!

Truly, last month was a roller coaster ride in terms of juggling your tasks. After all these presentations, you can take a breather. I hope.

Since you are delivering your research to your co-doctors, the terminologies may be quite familiar with them. For non-medical people like me however, the terms may be unfamiliar and your discussion may sound like German language. Nonetheless, the key points are easier to recall as you made K-pop stars and red markers. 

Your presentation in class was actually simplified and very substantial considering the limited amount of time you have to present. Thus, keep finding fun and engaging ways to command your audiences attention. Try humor as well if you can.

Below, some prepositions were suggested to make your sentence even better. Please read them carefully. Overall, you did an excellent job in expressing your thoughts regarding your homework.

See you in class tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

Since the last month, I was so busy for preparing a lot of presentations. Topics were about the treatment for young patients, especially with genetic mutation related with breast cancer. Actually, contents for these topics are very broad and complicated, so it’s not easy to understand with short lectures within 20 minutes.
>> Since last month, I was so busy preparing a lot of presentations. Topics were about the treatment for young patients especially with genetic mutation related with breast cancer. Actually, contents for these topics are very broad and complicated, so it’s not easy to understand with short lectures within 20 minutes.

To provide concise and exact knowledge, I emphasized some important slides with the photo of K-pop stars and sentences with the red color.
>> To provide concise and exact knowledge, I emphasized with some important slides with the photo of K-pop stars and sentences with the red color.

Moreover, I made a slide to summarize the important contents and attract the attention of the audience.
>> Correct!

With these efforts, I thought my presentation was successful to give meaningful insights to a lot of researchers.
>> Correct!

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