무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How does one’s family life affect his relations with others?

작성자: 김*린
2024-11-21 191

회원님의 영작문

The biggest influence is how to build a relationship. Person's personality and formation of relationship is depend on their family environment. We all learn how to make a relationship, but it's different by family style. Of course, we can also learn this from soical life, however, it's hard to change. In the case of a peaceful family, a child aquires that forming a relationship is not dangerous and difficult. He or she can feel safety from other people. In the contrast, if an uncertain family, a child might think that the other people is dangerous and negative to make a relationship. He or she can feel anxious and can't believe others. Moreover when they face problem, then they might avoid the problem instead of solving it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey, Lin! You've made some insightful points about how family environments shape a person's ability to build relationships. I agree that a peaceful family can help a child feel more secure and open to others, while an uncertain family can create challenges in trusting people. Great job on your analysis!
~T. Jenna

The biggest influence is how to build a relationship. 
Correct, or
>>The most pivotal factor boils down to the ability to foster meaningful connections.
Person's personality and formation of relationship is depend on their family environment. 
>>A person's personality and the formation of relationships depend on their family environment.
OR
>>A person's character and knack for forming relationships are deeply rooted in their upbringing.
We all learn how to make a relationship, but it's different by family style. 
>>We all learn how to build relationships, but it's different depending on family style.
OR
>>While everyone learns the ropes of building relationships, the approach can differ widely depending on family dynamics.
Of course, we can also learn this from soical life, however, it's hard to change. 
>>Of course, we can also learn this from social life; however, it's hard to change.
OR
>>Although social interactions can also teach us relationship-building skills, altering ingrained patterns can be particularly challenging.
In the case of a peaceful family, a child aquires that forming a relationship is not dangerous and difficult. 
>>In the case of a peaceful family, a child acquires the understanding that forming a relationship is not dangerous or difficult.
OR
>>In the context of a harmonious family, a child develops the perception that forming relationships is neither intimidating nor overly complex.
He or she can feel safety from other people. 
>>He or she can feel safe with other people.
OR
>>Such a child is likely to feel at home and at ease when engaging with others.
In the contrast, if an uncertain family, a child might think that the other people is dangerous and negative to make a relationship. 
>>In contrast, in an uncertain family, a child might think that other people are dangerous and negative when it comes to forming relationships.
OR
>>On the flip side, growing up in a turbulent family can make a child see others as a potential threat and relationships as an uphill battle.
He or she can feel anxious and can't believe others. 
Correct, or
>>This can leave them on edge and hesitant to take people at their word.
Moreover when they face problem, then they might avoid the problem instead of solving it.
>>Moreover, when they face problems, they might avoid the problem instead of solving it.
OR
>> What's more, when push comes to shove, they might shy away from tackling problems head-on and choose to sweep them under the rug instead.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
139617 What are the things kids your age worry about. 차*혁 완료 2024-09-01 778
139616 Home work 신*라 완료 2024-09-01 877
139615 Which pet do you think is the best for children? Why? 차*진 완료 2024-09-01 814
139614 homework 심*진 완료 2024-09-01 1
139613 What is the most environmentally friendly form of transportation? 진*호 완료 2024-09-01 1
139612 What are the advantages of rushing things? 진*호 완료 2024-09-01 1
139611 HOMEWORK FOR 08.30.2024 WRITING TASK: What was the best decision... 임*지 완료 2024-09-01 3
139610 homework 박*애 완료 2024-09-01 1
139609 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-08-31 0
139608 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-08-31 0
139607 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-08-31 0
139606 Have you ever seen a traffic accident? 김*규 완료 2024-08-30 0
139605 What is your opinion on the importance of learning a second... 신*규 완료 2024-08-30 770
139604 How do you avoid arguments? 이*희 완료 2024-08-30 744
139603 Have you ever been to a fancy dress / costume party? What was it... 박*은 완료 2024-08-30 1044
139602 2024.08.30 양*율 완료 2024-08-30 717
139601 Solve the communication difficulty over the phone. 류*영 완료 2024-08-30 1196
139600 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-08-30 624
139599 8/30(Fri) homework 김*희 완료 2024-08-30 692
139598 Popularity 이*규 완료 2024-08-30 794

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]