¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are your thoughts on people who swim across big bodies of water?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-11-19 1478

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the across big bodies of water people is very amazing because swim across big bodies of water is very dangerous.
But dangerous swim across of water overcome is very amazing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please go over the revisions given below. See you later! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                                   What are your thoughts on people who swim across big bodies of water?


I think the across big bodies of water people is very amazing because swim across big bodies of water is very dangerous.
>> I think people who swim across big bodies of water are amazing because the waters are very dangerous. 

But dangerous swim across of water overcome is very amazing.
>> It's amazing how they successfully swim across such hazardous waters. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141074 What is the best part of your job? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-20 6
141073 What makes a particular song or artist special to you? ¹è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-20 2012
141072 You mentioned that you do not like \"used items\", what about if... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-20 3
141071 What do you think about people who collect weird things like... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-20 4
141070 There are no young people in rural areas. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-20 1322
141069 Homeworks ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-20 2
141068 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1
141067 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1321
141066 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 4
141065 What are your thoughts on people who swim across big bodies of... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1478
141064 How did you begin studying English? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1401
141063 What makes a particular song or artist special to you? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1786
141062 Are you an ambitious person? What career goals do you have? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1224
141061 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1224
141060 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1345
141059 Give me three sentences using the word \'bench\'. ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1705
141058 18Nov2024-Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1200
141057 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1328
141056 Would you ever give away or sell your collection? Why or why not? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1468
141055 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1179

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04