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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Are you an ambitious person? What career goals do you have?

작성자: 김*경
2024-11-19 18

회원님의 영작문

Fortunately, I can keep my passion at work, at home, and at church. I think it is good for me because I’ve seen many old people lose their passion at their old age despite their enthusiasm at their youth.
I have some career goals to pursue. First, I want to get as many professional engineer licenses as I want so that I can be recognized as a professional and enlarge my area into local government. Second, I want to be a trilingual in English, Japanese as well as Korean. The reason why I want to speak Japanese is that Japan has many things for me to learn as a engineer or tourist. Lastly, I want to be promoted to the chief administrative officer, the highest position that I can achieve at my place as administrator officer. But I know what I hope to get may not be able to come true to the fullest degree. At least, having goals in mind can motivate me to do my best of my daily tasks.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Mr. Steve! I admire your vision and determination. I’m sure you’re going to make amazing progress toward them. Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny 
Fortunately, I can keep my passion at work, at home, and at church. 
>>Fortunately, I can keep my passion at work, home, and church. 
I think it is good for me because I’ve seen many old people lose their passion at their old age despite their enthusiasm at their youth.
>>I think it is good for me because I’ve seen many old people lose their passion in their old age despite their enthusiasm in their youth.
I have some career goals to pursue. 
>>Correct!
First, I want to get as many professional engineer licenses as I want so that I can be recognized as a professional and enlarge my area into local government. 
>>My first goal is to obtain as many professional engineer licenses as possible, so I can gain recognition as a professional and expand my career into the public sector.
Second, I want to be a trilingual in English, Japanese as well as Korean. 
>>I also want to be trilingual, fluent in English, Japanese, and Korean.
The reason why I want to speak Japanese is that Japan has many things for me to learn as a engineer or tourist. 
>>I want to learn Japanese because Japan offers many opportunities for me to grow as an engineer and explore as a tourist.
Lastly, I want to be promoted to the chief administrative officer, the highest position that I can achieve at my place as administrator officer. 
>>Finally, I aim to be promoted to the role of chief administrative officer, the highest position I can attain as an administrative officer.
But I know what I hope to get may not be able to come true to the fullest degree. 
>>However, I understand that my goals may not be entirely achievable in the way I envision.
At least, having goals in mind can motivate me to do my best of my daily tasks.
>>At the very least, having clear goals helps me stay motivated to give my best in everything I do.
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