¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-11-19 1623

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Much of a country's development is its economic development. Presidents put great efforts into developing a country's economy, and sometimes they fail to develop it, leading to a tragic end.
However, economic development is not all about national development. Other types of development are also important developments.
For example, there is environmental development. If you only care about economic development, you should also think about the development of the environment because it destroys the environment a lot.
However, I think that a state is a union of people, and its purpose is to live well in abundance. So, I think economic development is more important than anything else.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! It's been a long time since I last checked your essay! I was surprised to check your essays in a row. Thank you! Keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Much of a country's development is its economic development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Presidents put great efforts into developing a country's economy, and sometimes they fail to develop it, leading to a tragic end.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, economic development is not all about national development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Other types of development are also important developments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
>>>  Other types of development are also important.
For example, there is an environmental development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 If you only care about economic development, you should also think about the development of the environment because it destroys the environment a lot.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, I think that a state is a union of people, and its purpose is to live well in abundance. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
So, I think economic development is more important than anything else.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140170 When shopping, do you often look for cheaper alternatives? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1951
140169 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1
140168 What is the importance of meeting the deadline? ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1791
140167 cell phone ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1
140166 For perfect writing ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1995
140165 30sep2024 ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1899
140164 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1510
140163 If you had an extra hour each day, what hobby would you spend it... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 1320
140162 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-01 0
140161 Does music have the power to change your mood? How does music... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1711
140160 Is it more important to be liked or respected? Why? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1698
140159 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140158 Should holidays be spread evenly throughout the year, or is it... Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1417
140157 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 0
140156 Sep 27th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1625
140155 What are the advantages and disadvantages of solo travel? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1578
140154 What part of your day do you like best? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140153 What are the benefits of having hobbies? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140152 Q)What are the advantages of working for a small company? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140151 What are some annoying things that your friends do? How do you... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1720

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04