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My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-11-19 1018

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Nowadays people¡¯s life is changing rapidly and, as a result, family relationships are affected. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.


Personally, I think there are many disadvantages.
Because less time for family to gather.
For example, I spent time personally because all of my parents went to work.
I was very lonely and it affected my personality formation quite a bit.
I got a little impatient.
Therefore, given that the family's time is reduced, the current family has many disadvantages.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee! It's been a long time since I last checked your essay! I was surprised to check your essays in a row. Thank you! Keep it up! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Personally, I think there are many disadvantages.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Because less time for family to gather.
>>> Because there's less time for a family to come together. 
For example, I spent time personally because all of my parents went to work.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> For example, I spent time on my own because both of my parents are at work.
I was very lonely and it affected my personality formation quite a bit.
>>> I felt very lonely, and it had a significant impact on my personality development.
I got a little impatient.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Therefore, given that the family's time is reduced, the current family has many disadvantages.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> As a result, the reduced time families have together brings about several disadvantages in modern family life.
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