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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

Do you like to try local foods when you go somewhere? Have you ever had something really delicious?

작성자: 박*식
2024-11-12 17

회원님의 영작문

Do you like to try local foods when you go somewhere? Have you ever had something really delicious?

I prefer to try local foods when I go on a trip. This is because I can feel their culture from foods. For example, when I have been to Japan, I ate sushi. Japan is surrounded by ocean that people can catch the fresh fishes. It means their fishing culture absorbs in their foods. While I was eating sushi, the chief told me about story that why Japanese people eat amount of sushi. In these reasons, their territory is very cold when winter season, so people have to protect their heat from cold wind. The fish are most valuable foods that protect their body temperature. Moreover, they easily can face fish, so they don’t have to create hunt to be hard. It can save their movement that releases energy.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Mr. Hong Shik! It's one of my dreams to visit Japan. I have heard a lot of good reviews from people I know who've been there. I hope to travel soon!
-T. Sonny
I prefer to try local foods when I go on a trip. 
>>Correct!
This is because I can feel their culture from foods. 
>>This is because I can feel their culture from food. 
For example, when I have been to Japan, I ate sushi. 
>>For example, when I went to Japan, I ate sushi. 
Japan is surrounded by ocean that people can catch the fresh fishes.
>>Japan is surrounded by an ocean where people can catch fresh fish.
It means their fishing culture absorbs in their foods. 
>>It means their fishing culture is reflected in their foods. 
While I was eating sushi, the chief told me about story that why Japanese people eat amount of sushi.
>>While I was eating sushi, the chef told me a story about why Japanese people eat huge amounts of sushi.
In these reasons, their territory is very cold when winter season, so people have to protect their heat from cold wind. 
>>He said that their territory is extremely cold during winter, so people need to keep warm from the cold breeze. 
The fish are most valuable foods that protect their body temperature.
>>Fish are the most valuable foods that can maintain their body temperature.
Moreover, they easily can face fish, so they don’t have to create hunt to be hard. 
>>Moreover, they can easily fish, so they don’t have to hunt. 
It can save their movement that releases energy.
>>It can save them from moving which could consume energy.
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