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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

In a world filled with quick-fix fitness trends, how can we develop a sustainable and personalized a

작성자: 김*린
2024-11-08 60

회원님의 영작문

I think watching videos that show what and how to exercise is first thing to do. Because everyone is different, people have to find their own fitting exercise. After finding the exercise, then people have to exercise for three months to get used to and become a habit. In doing so, I think people can continue to exercise naturally if they add fun to the exercise as they have their own know-how. Moreover doing exercise reguraly is good for a mental well-being. It makes a body and mindset more healthy.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Lin! Great job on your thoughts about exercise! I like how you emphasized the importance of finding the right routine and sticking to it. It's also true that adding fun to exercise can make it more enjoyable and easier to maintain. Keep up the good work!
~T. Jenna

I think watching videos that show what and how to exercise is first thing to do.
>>I think watching videos that show what and how to exercise is the first thing to do.
OR
>>I believe the first step is to watch videos that demonstrate what exercises to do and how to perform them.
Because everyone is different, people have to find their own fitting exercise. 
>>Because everyone is different, people have to find the exercise that fits / suits them.
OR
>>Given the individuality of each person, it is essential for individuals to identify the exercise that aligns seamlessly with their unique needs and capabilities
After finding the exercise, then people have to exercise for three months to get used to and become a habit. 
>>After finding the right exercise, people need to commit to it for three months to get used to it and make it a habit.
OR
>>Once the appropriate exercise is identified, individuals should engage in it consistently for a minimum of three months to acclimate themselves and solidify it as a lasting habit.
In doing so, I think people can continue to exercise naturally if they add fun to the exercise as they have their own know-how. 
>>In doing so, I believe people can continue exercising naturally if they add fun to their routine as they have their own know-how.
OR
>>By doing so, I am confident that, with their own expertise, individuals can sustain a natural exercise regimen by infusing enjoyment into their routine.
Moreover doing exercise reguraly is good for a mental well-being. It makes a body and mindset more healthy.
>>Moreover, doing exercise regularly is good for mental well-being. It makes both the body and mindset healthier.
OR
>>Moreover, engaging in regular exercise is beneficial for mental well-being. It makes significant contributions to both physical health and the cultivation of a healthier mindset.
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