¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Diary-24.11.05

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*ÀÎ
2024-11-05 316

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Today I went ST. Johnsbury Academy Jeju for 'Jeju International School 2024 Fall English Camp. This camp in progress for 5 dats in week. Todayis second day of this camp. English camp's class is so funny. Okay I'll introduss our team.
Our team name is team 12 and we have three teacher. First T. Victoria, she is a home teacher in our class. Second is T. Ms.Anshe is korean,so she help us when we feel difficultat something. Last teacher is T.Eden(I don't know right spelling of his name;;). He is high school student from SJA. And we have 20 team member.
Finally the most important of this camp is lunch. There are two menu, so I can choose it. How fantastic it is!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Ye In.  Please go over the revisions given below. Have a good night sleep! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



Today I went ST. Johnsbury Academy Jeju for 'Jeju International School 2024 Fall English Camp. 
>> Today, I went to St. Johnsbury Academy Jeju for 'Jeju International School 2024 Fall English Camp. 

This camp in progress for 5 dats in week. Todayis second day of this camp.
>> This camp will run for 5 consecutive days and today is the second day. 

English camp's class is so funny. 
>> The camp's English class is very fun. 

Okay I'll introduss our team.
>> Now, let me introduce my team. 

Our team name is team 12 and we have three teacher. 
>> We are a team of 12 people and we have three teachers. 

First T. Victoria, she is a home teacher in our class. 
>> First is T. Victoria who is our homeroom teacher. 

Second is T. Ms.Anshe is korean,so she help us when we feel difficultat something. 
>> Second is T. Anshe who is Korean and helps us when we need it. 

Last teacher is T.Eden(I don't know right spelling of his name;;). He is high school student from SJA. 
>> Last is T. Eden who is a high school student from SJA (I'm not sure if I got the spelling right.).

And we have 20 team member.
>> And there are other 20 members of the team. 

Finally the most important of this camp is lunch. 
>> Finally, the most important part of this camp is lunch. 

There are two menu, so I can choose it. 
>> There are two menus so I can choose what I like. 

How fantastic it is!
>> CORRECT~~

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139841 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 626
139840 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 0
139839 homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 770
139838 9.Sep.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2
139837 Describe your ideal garden. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 726
139836 10.Sep.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2
139835 What are your thoughts don\'t the air quality in your country? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 799
139834 H/W ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 662
139833 What do you like to do with your friends? ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139832 home work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 696
139831 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 739
139830 What¡¯s the secret to taking a good photograph? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 749
139829 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 699
139828 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 738
139827 My responsibility Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2
139826 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139825 What chores are your responsibility? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 3
139824 What do you think of books being made into movies? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139823 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 869
139822 The best festival in Korea ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 686

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04