¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Diary-24.11.05

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*ÀÎ
2024-11-05 303

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Today I went ST. Johnsbury Academy Jeju for 'Jeju International School 2024 Fall English Camp. This camp in progress for 5 dats in week. Todayis second day of this camp. English camp's class is so funny. Okay I'll introduss our team.
Our team name is team 12 and we have three teacher. First T. Victoria, she is a home teacher in our class. Second is T. Ms.Anshe is korean,so she help us when we feel difficultat something. Last teacher is T.Eden(I don't know right spelling of his name;;). He is high school student from SJA. And we have 20 team member.
Finally the most important of this camp is lunch. There are two menu, so I can choose it. How fantastic it is!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Ye In.  Please go over the revisions given below. Have a good night sleep! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



Today I went ST. Johnsbury Academy Jeju for 'Jeju International School 2024 Fall English Camp. 
>> Today, I went to St. Johnsbury Academy Jeju for 'Jeju International School 2024 Fall English Camp. 

This camp in progress for 5 dats in week. Todayis second day of this camp.
>> This camp will run for 5 consecutive days and today is the second day. 

English camp's class is so funny. 
>> The camp's English class is very fun. 

Okay I'll introduss our team.
>> Now, let me introduce my team. 

Our team name is team 12 and we have three teacher. 
>> We are a team of 12 people and we have three teachers. 

First T. Victoria, she is a home teacher in our class. 
>> First is T. Victoria who is our homeroom teacher. 

Second is T. Ms.Anshe is korean,so she help us when we feel difficultat something. 
>> Second is T. Anshe who is Korean and helps us when we need it. 

Last teacher is T.Eden(I don't know right spelling of his name;;). He is high school student from SJA. 
>> Last is T. Eden who is a high school student from SJA (I'm not sure if I got the spelling right.).

And we have 20 team member.
>> And there are other 20 members of the team. 

Finally the most important of this camp is lunch. 
>> Finally, the most important part of this camp is lunch. 

There are two menu, so I can choose it. 
>> There are two menus so I can choose what I like. 

How fantastic it is!
>> CORRECT~~

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140046 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 651
140045 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140044 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140043 Trip alone ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 615
140042 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 1
140041 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140040 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140039 trust ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 1
140038 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 669
140037 liars ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 1
140036 homework for Sep 24 ¼­*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 467
140035 How would life change if animals could communicate like humans? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 505
140034 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 3
140033 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 529
140032 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 470
140031 september.23 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 601
140030 New features ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 886
140029 Is it important to study about the outer space? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 686
140028 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 576
140027 Write about a memorable holiday experience. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 602

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04