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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My homework

작성자: 이*도
2024-11-03 266

회원님의 영작문

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
Writing Task: How has technology changed the world of sports?

Technology changes everything in sports.
It can check thnig that people can't see and judbe it.

For example, There is ABS in KBO(Korea Baseball Organization).
ABS is abbreviation of Anti-lock Braking System. It is

The ABS system is the first strike determination system introduced by South Korea.

It is a system in which many cameras take instantaneous shots of the ball to determine the strike zone and inform the referee of it so that the machine can make a judgment.

With the introduction of this, the overall quality of Korean baseball has improved as baseball game time has significantly decreased in 2023 and fights over judgment have also been reduced.

This is a case in point.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning, Lee!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the impact of technology in sports, particularly with the ABS system in the KBO! I completely agree that technology has revolutionized how we experience and understand sports. The ability to use cameras to accurately determine strike zones is a game-changer, not only for the players and referees but also for fans who appreciate fair play and quick decision-making.
~Kelly
Technology changes everything in sports.
>> Correct
OR:
>> Technology has transformed every aspect of sports.
It can check thnig that people can't see and judbe it.
>> It can detect things that people can't see and make judgments on them.
For example, There is ABS in KBO(Korea Baseball Organization).
>> Correct
OR:
>> For example, the KBO (Korea Baseball Organization) uses ABS.
ABS is abbreviation of Anti-lock Braking System. It is
>> ABS is the abbreviation for Automatic Ball-Strike system.
The ABS system is the first strike determination system introduced by South Korea.
>> Correct
OR:
>> South Korea was the first to introduce the ABS system for strike determination.
It is a system in which many cameras take instantaneous shots of the ball to determine the strike zone and inform the referee of it so that the machine can make a judgment.
>> Correct
OR:
>> The system uses multiple cameras to capture real-time images of the ball to determine the strike zone and notify the referee for judgment.
With the introduction of this, the overall quality of Korean baseball has improved as baseball game time has significantly decreased in 2023 and fights over judgment have also been reduced.
>> Correct
OR:
>> With its introduction, the overall quality of Korean baseball has improved, as game times have significantly decreased in 2023, and disputes over judgments have been reduced.
This is a case in point.
>> Correct
OR: This is a prime example.
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