¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you ever think that some music is just noise?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹è*ºó
2024-11-03 133

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that some music is just noise and rock music includes that.

Because I often listen to music while I¡¯m hard and gloomy. So soft music effectively helps me to comfort and get a energy more than the rock music which is a piece of noise music.

I think that lyrics is also very important thing as well as melody while I listen to music. But rock music doesn¡¯t have any meaningful lyrics and I don¡¯t understand that.

Also, rock music singers overall have a tough voice and enjoy shouting.
I am sensitive a loud sounds. For example, I¡¯m often surprised when I hear the car¡¯s horn or motorcycle riding noise. So, I can¡¯t withstand a loud of rock music.

But I think rock music is also cool music, just not my style.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yun Bin,

Thank you for your homework! You did a great job sharing your thoughts about music. I appreciate how you explained your feelings about soft music and rock music. Your writing shows clear ideas and personal insights!

Remember, it¡¯s perfectly okay to have your own taste in music. Keep expressing your thoughts like this; it¡¯s a wonderful way to share your feelings and connect with others.

Great work, and I look forward to your next assignment!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think that some music is just noise and rock music includes that.

>>I think that some music is just noise and rock music falls into that category.

Because I often listen to music while I¡¯m hard and gloomy.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Because I often listen to music when I'm feeling down or gloomy.

So soft music effectively helps me to comfort and get a energy more than the rock music which is a piece of noise music.

>>So, soft music helps me feel comforted and energized more than rock music, which I see as just noise.

I think that lyrics is also very important thing as well as melody while I listen to music.

>>I believe that lyrics are just as important as melody when I listen to music.

But rock music doesn¡¯t have any meaningful lyrics and I don¡¯t understand that.

>>CORRECT

OR>>However, I don¡¯t think rock music has meaningful lyrics, and I find that hard to understand.

Also, rock music singers overall have a tough voice and enjoy shouting.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Also, rock music singers usually have strong voices and like to shout.

I am sensitive a loud sounds.

>>I am sensitive to loud sounds.

For example, I¡¯m often surprised when I hear the car¡¯s horn or motorcycle riding noise.

>>CORRECT

OR>>For instance, I'm frequently taken aback by the sound of a car horn or the noise of a motorcycle.

So, I can¡¯t withstand a loud of rock music.

>>So, I can't withstand loud rock music.

But I think rock music is also cool music, just not my style.

>>CORRECT

OR>>But I think rock music is also very cool, it just isn't my style.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139111 2023.08.12 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 653
139110 What are your methods for avoiding errors? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 555
139109 Opinions ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 538
139108 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 567
139107 8/12(Mon) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 636
139106 What is a habit that you learned from a family member or friend? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 570
139105 If you could create your own street food, what would it be? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 625
139104 homework ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 815
139103 To avoid getting sick ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 618
139102 HOMEWORK FOR 08.12.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you want to change... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 4
139101 At what age were you the happiest as a child? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 705
139100 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 1
139099 8/12 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 4
139098 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-12 601
139097 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-11 1
139096 Homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-11 8
139095 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-11 0
139094 What do you think is the best way of making a lot of money? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-11 2
139093 Is anyone you know celebrating a birthday this fall season? What... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-11 713
139092 What are the things you usually take your time doing? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04