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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you ever think that some music is just noise?

작성자: 배*빈
2024-11-03 26

회원님의 영작문

I think that some music is just noise and rock music includes that.

Because I often listen to music while I’m hard and gloomy. So soft music effectively helps me to comfort and get a energy more than the rock music which is a piece of noise music.

I think that lyrics is also very important thing as well as melody while I listen to music. But rock music doesn’t have any meaningful lyrics and I don’t understand that.

Also, rock music singers overall have a tough voice and enjoy shouting.
I am sensitive a loud sounds. For example, I’m often surprised when I hear the car’s horn or motorcycle riding noise. So, I can’t withstand a loud of rock music.

But I think rock music is also cool music, just not my style.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Yun Bin,

Thank you for your homework! You did a great job sharing your thoughts about music. I appreciate how you explained your feelings about soft music and rock music. Your writing shows clear ideas and personal insights!

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to have your own taste in music. Keep expressing your thoughts like this; it’s a wonderful way to share your feelings and connect with others.

Great work, and I look forward to your next assignment!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think that some music is just noise and rock music includes that.

>>I think that some music is just noise and rock music falls into that category.

Because I often listen to music while I’m hard and gloomy.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Because I often listen to music when I'm feeling down or gloomy.

So soft music effectively helps me to comfort and get a energy more than the rock music which is a piece of noise music.

>>So, soft music helps me feel comforted and energized more than rock music, which I see as just noise.

I think that lyrics is also very important thing as well as melody while I listen to music.

>>I believe that lyrics are just as important as melody when I listen to music.

But rock music doesn’t have any meaningful lyrics and I don’t understand that.

>>CORRECT

OR>>However, I don’t think rock music has meaningful lyrics, and I find that hard to understand.

Also, rock music singers overall have a tough voice and enjoy shouting.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Also, rock music singers usually have strong voices and like to shout.

I am sensitive a loud sounds.

>>I am sensitive to loud sounds.

For example, I’m often surprised when I hear the car’s horn or motorcycle riding noise.

>>CORRECT

OR>>For instance, I'm frequently taken aback by the sound of a car horn or the noise of a motorcycle.

So, I can’t withstand a loud of rock music.

>>So, I can't withstand loud rock music.

But I think rock music is also cool music, just not my style.

>>CORRECT

OR>>But I think rock music is also very cool, it just isn't my style.

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