¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Costly health care

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ç*¿¬
2024-10-31 77

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I believe that keeping healthy is an important investment in the present and uncertain future, so it has to cost much. Those who have made much efforts for their health enjoy healthy old age without huge costs for expensive medicine, hospital bills, and caregiver. But, those who haven't worked hard and invested for their health suffer from severe sickness and have a tough old age like my mom.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Gi Yean!
I totally agree that maintaining our health and doing things that can make us healthier are investments for the future. I often hear many older people encouraging the younger generation to start living healthily before it's too late. However, many younger people believe that they only live once, so they want to live recklessly, disregarding the future.
- T. Caitlyn
I believe that keeping healthy is an important investment in the present and uncertain future, so it has to cost much. 
>> CORRECT
Those who have made much efforts for their health enjoy healthy old age without huge costs for expensive medicine, hospital bills, and caregiver. 
>> Those who have made a lot of effort for their health enjoy a healthy old age without huge costs for expensive medicine, hospital bills, and caregivers.
But, those who haven't worked hard and invested for their health suffer from severe sickness and have a tough old age like my mom.
>> But those who haven't worked hard and invested in their health suffer from severe sickness and have a tough old age like my mom.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139544 Teachers ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 858
139543 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 0
139542 Sunny ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 541
139541 Book ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 555
139540 My hobby Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 567
139539 Delicious Korean food. ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 542
139538 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 483
139537 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 1
139536 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 0
139535 Q) Would you ever want to work as a restaurant critic? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 1
139534 Describe an old friend that you got in touch with again. How did... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 454
139533 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 0
139532 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 0
139531 8/26 homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 666
139530 longevity ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139529 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 624
139528 Why air arabia? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 4
139527 homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 3
139526 HOMEWORK FOR 08.28.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you hope for today? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 4
139525 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 847

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04