무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My visa was denied

작성자: 구*정
2024-10-30 304

회원님의 영작문

Today I got a letter from NewZealand immigration offce. I was very stunned becase the letter said my student visa was denied. That was way beyond my expectations. My agency told me the bank account balance is enough to get the student visa and I didn't need to submit my account history. But the immigrant just denied my visa without any chance to submit further documents or evidences. I was so shocked. I felt mixed feeling at the same time. I thought "Is it a kind of hint for my life? God doesn't want me to go abroad?" etc... But I talked to my agency about it and decided to submit another visa application with develped balance evidences. I heard that to become a permanat residence of one country is really hard and will be a long story. I might be the first obstacle for me and my family's journey to another country. I don't know. I hope my family including me will got a visa which we were intended for the first time. Good luck to my family.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. Emma! Hopefully, everything goes well with your second application so you can proceed with the other steps you have to take before the end of the year. Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny
Today I got a letter from NewZealand immigration offce. 
>>Today, I received a letter from the New Zealand immigration office. 
I was very stunned becase the letter said my student visa was denied. 
>>I was so stunned because the letter said my student visa application was denied. 
That was way beyond my expectations. 
>>That was way out of my expectations.
My agency told me the bank account balance is enough to get the student visa and I didn't need to submit my account history. 
>>My agency told me that the bank account balance was enough to get the student visa and I didn't need to submit my account history. 
But the immigrant just denied my visa without any chance to submit further documents or evidences. 
>>But the immigrant just denied my visa without any chance to submit further documents or evidence. 
I was so shocked. 
>>Correct!
I felt mixed feeling at the same time. 
>>I had mixed feelings at that time.
I thought "Is it a kind of hint for my life? God doesn't want me to go abroad?" etc.
>>I thought, "Is it kind of a hint for my life?" Does God not want me to go abroad?" etc.
But I talked to my agency about it and decided to submit another visa application with develped balance evidences. 
>>But I talked to my agency about it and decided to submit another visa application with proof of developed balance. 
I heard that to become a permanat residence of one country is really hard and will be a long story. 
>>I heard that to get a permanent residence in a foreign country is a long, tough journey
I might be the first obstacle for me and my family's journey to another country. 
>>Correct!
I don't know. 
>>Correct!
I hope my family including me will got a visa which we were intended for the first time. 
>>I hope my family and I get the visa that we were aiming for the first time. 
Good luck to my family.
>>Correct!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
140710 Critical thinking skills 양*연 완료 2024-10-30 385
140709 Homework 오*봄 완료 2024-10-30 3
140708 What do you think is the most expensive hobby? 진*호 완료 2024-10-30 1
140707 My homework 이*도 완료 2024-10-29 395
140706 Do you like being the age at which you now are? 최*연 완료 2024-10-29 397
140705 >> Bertrand Russell said: \"War does not determine who is right... 이*민 완료 2024-10-29 1
140704 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-10-29 1
140703 Is it important to learn slang or swear words when learning a... 박*식 완료 2024-10-29 424
140702 Homework 김*현 완료 2024-10-29 345
140701 Do you think people sometimes give up too easily when trying to... 김*윤 완료 2024-10-29 329
140700 Homework 오*현 완료 2024-10-29 2
140699 What volunteer work do you see yourself doing? Why? 한*연 완료 2024-10-29 320
140698 What are some protocols you have at work? 이*훈 완료 2024-10-29 324
140697 What would happen if people lived in cities without any cars or... 박*은 완료 2024-10-29 329
140696 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-10-29 314
140695 I\'m less honest with my parants than when I was young 김*민 완료 2024-10-29 335
140694 My feelings when someone has been untruthful to me 김*민 완료 2024-10-29 331
140693 Do you think people nowadays spend too much time taking... 최*정 완료 2024-10-29 1
140692 What does being \"rich\" or \"wealthy\" mean to you personally?... 박*은 완료 2024-10-29 332
140691 How much do you think your job defines who you are as a person? 박*은 완료 2024-10-29 331

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]