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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How do you think your research findings could impact breast cancer treatment in the future?

작성자: 차*환
2024-10-27 354

회원님의 영작문

Breast cancer in men is very rare. So, there are few research in this topic among Asian patients.
So, my international collaboration research with colleagues from Japan and Australia could impact on the further information about male breast cancer.
This research has a focus on the adherence of treatment such as endocrine therapy.
Moreover, there is significant difference on the long-term prognosis between male and female patients.
My research could give valuable insight on this disparity among the clinical outcome.
I hope to bring home the bacon to make additional evidence through my researches in the future.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello!

Great job on your homework. You've shared some fascinating details about your research on male breast cancer, especially in collaboration with colleagues from Japan and Australia. It's inspiring to see how your work could add valuable insights to this rare field, particularly around treatment adherence and clinical outcomes. Keep up the great work, and I’m looking forward to seeing your progress in this important research!

~Teacher Cathy

 

Breast cancer in men is very rare.

>>CORRECT

OR>>It's not common for men to have breast cancer.

So, there are few research in this topic among Asian patients.

>>So, there is little research on this topic among Asian patients.

So, my international collaboration research with colleagues from Japan and Australia could impact on the further information about male breast cancer.

>>So, my international collaborative research with colleagues from Japan and Australia could impact the further understanding of male breast cancer.

This research has a focus on the adherence of treatment such as endocrine therapy.

>>This research focuses on treatment adherence, such as with endocrine therapy.

Moreover, there is significant difference on the long-term prognosis between male and female patients.

>>Moreover, there is a significant difference in the long-term prognosis between male and female patients.

My research could give valuable insight on this disparity among the clinical outcome.

>>My research could provide valuable insight into this disparity in clinical outcomes.

I hope to bring home the bacon to make additional evidence through my researches in the future.

>>I hope to bring home valuable findings to contribute additional evidence through my research in the future.

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
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