¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people say that humans are scarier than the most dangerous animals. Do you agree or disagree?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-10-24 344

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I disagree because humans can use weapons and smart but the most dangerous animals is smart and strong.
If humans don't have weapons they can't win against the most dangerous animals.
So humans are weaker than the most dangerous animals.(^_^)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your correced composition, Yale! Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Have a good night sleep! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                 Some people say that humans are scarier than the most dangerous animals. Do you agree or disagree?


I disagree because humans can use weapons and smart but the most dangerous animals is smart and strong.
>> I disagree because humans can use weapons and are smart, but the most dangerous animals are smart and strong.

If humans don't have weapons they can't win against the most dangerous animals.
>> If humans don't have weapons, they can't win against the most dangerous animals.
>> OR: Without weapons, humans can't defeat the most dangerous animals. 

So humans are weaker than the most dangerous animals.(^_^)
>> CORRECT~~



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137454 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137453 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 0
137452 homework 05.27 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 819
137451 What pizza flavor is your favorite? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 786
137450 Many people drink coffee to feel alert. Is there a better way to... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 867
137449 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 0
137448 Why is making eye contact important? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 502
137447 2024.05.24 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 537
137446 Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 930
137445 What is your favorite subject in school? Why do you think so? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 719
137444 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2
137443 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137442 Perfect weather °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 642
137441 What challenges do people face when trying to become... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 4
137440 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 915
137439 Essay in my facvorite movie Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 702
137438 : In what ways do you think your English skills have improved... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 826
137437 hw ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137436 Would you consider hiring a housekeeper to do chores for you ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1022
137435 Can you tell me a little about Incheon? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04