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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Disc

작성자: 박*식
2024-10-24 474

회원님의 영작문

In advantage, first, they can save money. This is because they don’t have to spend money on unnecessary things. Such as baby’s tools, like diapers and toys. So, they can spend money on self-development not for babies. Second, they can make families. It means we can get the greatest bond group in their life. It can be a energy in their life after finish their work. However, there are also disadvantages. First, they have to spend a lot of time to care for the babies. This is because when babies are in an infant phase parents have to spend their time for babies. So, they can’t take time for themselves. Second, they feel stress. To explain, most parents feel stress when caring for babies. Also, according to the government, more than 70% of parents feel tired all day long when they care for babies. It causes their stress. So, if couples decide have a baby it has a more negative effect on their health.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Mr. Hong Shik! Having babies is a huge decision to make as it is a lifetime commitment and responsibility. It surely has its ups and downs like any other life situation but I am sure that it gives a different level of happiness. But, in the end, it all comes down to what completes you and what makes you happy. Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny
 In advantage, first, they can save money. 
>>The first advantage is that they can save money.
This is because they don’t have to spend money on unnecessary things. 
>>Correct!
Such as baby’s tools, like diapers and toys. 
>>Such are baby stuff, like diapers and toys.
So, they can spend money on self-development not for babies. 
>>So, they can spend money on personal development and not on babies. 
Second, they can make families. 
>>Correct!
It means we can get the greatest bond group in their life. 
>>It means we can get the greatest bond group of our life. 
It can be a energy in their life after finish their work. 
>>It can be a source of energy in their life after work.
However, there are also disadvantages. 
>>Correct!
First, they have to spend a lot of time to care for the babies. 
>>First, they have to consume a lot of time to care for the babies. 
This is because when babies are in an infant phase parents have to spend their time for babies. 
>>This is because, at this phase, parents have to spend their time with their babies. 
So, they can’t take time for themselves. 
>>Correct!
Second, they feel stress. 
>>Second is the stress.
To explain, most parents feel stress when caring for babies. 
>>Most parents are under stress when taking care of their babies.
Also, according to the government, more than 70% of parents feel tired all day long when they care for babies. 
>>Also, according to the government, more than 70% of parents feel tired all day long due to child care.
It causes their stress. 
>>It causes them stress.
So, if couples decide have a baby it has a more negative effect on their health.
>>So, if couples decide to have babies, it takes a toll on their health.

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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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