¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think South Korea isn\'t ready to accept the queer

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-10-22 555

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays some Koreans understand queer easily. But I think South Korea isn't ready to accept the queer.

Recently the new Korean drama, which title is "Jeong-nyeon", is broadcast every weekend.
This drama is based on a popular webtoon of the same name, and tells the story of a Korean women's traditional opera in the 1950s.
There are many kinds of female characters in this drama, but queer character disappears in the drama.
This character was loved by fans of webtoon, so many fans get angry after drama is released.

Also, I told you that the trailer of drama version of "Love in the big city" disappear in the internet.
Because some civil group protested collectively, calling it obscene and glorifying homosexuality.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Min.

It's good to see you again here on the composition page.

Certainly, the concept of queer or the LGBTQ+ is not new to your country. The question is when they are going to be ready to start feeling comfortable about it. In my country, there are laws and policies for the queer. They are not a lot but we have lived with them peacefully overtime.

Since webtoon and Kdrama is one entertaining way of looking or mirroring our lives, some 'puritans' or conservatives may really feel uncomfortable about the idea of watching the queer mainstream. Until today, the issue of accepting queer in society is still polarizing.

Thank you very much for your composition.  I can see very good sentences as well as minute grammatical pointers you need to memorize. Overall, great job!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

Nowadays some Koreans understand queer easily. But I think South Korea isn't ready to accept the queer.
>> Correct!

Recently the new Korean drama, which title is "Jeong-nyeon", is broadcast every weekend.
>> Correct!
Or: Recently the new Korean drama, which title is "Jeong-nyeon", is (aired/ shown) every weekend.

This drama is based on a popular webtoon of the same name, and tells the story of a Korean women's traditional opera in the 1950s.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

There are many kinds of female characters in this drama, but queer character disappears in the drama.
>> Correct!

This character was loved by fans of webtoon, so many fans get angry after drama is released.
>> This character was loved by fans of webtoon, so many fans got angry after the drama was released.

Also, I told you that the trailer of drama version of "Love in the big city" disappear in the internet.
>> Also, I told you that the trailer of the drama version of "Love in the Big City" disappeared on the internet.

Because some civil group protested collectively, calling it obscene and glorifying homosexuality.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139182 Do you often go on overnight trips? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 812
139181 Paris Olympic: Environmental Friendly or Wealthy Friendly ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 878
139180 Can you share a simple, healthy recipe you like to make? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 823
139179 Where is your hometown? What are some popular places to visit or... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 878
139178 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 741
139177 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139176 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139175 Confidence ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 882
139174 What do you think is the most serious problem in the world? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 2
139173 Agust 12th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 798
139172 8/14(Wed) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1187
139171 2024.08.14 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 2
139170 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 1
139169 What was your most memorable job interview experience? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 786
139168 How may we overcome laziness when dealing with an important... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 926
139167 Are parents who feed junk food to their children irresponsible? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 951
139166 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 872
139165 I think about food °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 746
139164 nap ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 0
139163 What is the best part of your childhood? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-08-14 911

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04