¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think South Korea isn\'t ready to accept the queer

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-10-22 14

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays some Koreans understand queer easily. But I think South Korea isn't ready to accept the queer.

Recently the new Korean drama, which title is "Jeong-nyeon", is broadcast every weekend.
This drama is based on a popular webtoon of the same name, and tells the story of a Korean women's traditional opera in the 1950s.
There are many kinds of female characters in this drama, but queer character disappears in the drama.
This character was loved by fans of webtoon, so many fans get angry after drama is released.

Also, I told you that the trailer of drama version of "Love in the big city" disappear in the internet.
Because some civil group protested collectively, calling it obscene and glorifying homosexuality.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Min.

It's good to see you again here on the composition page.

Certainly, the concept of queer or the LGBTQ+ is not new to your country. The question is when they are going to be ready to start feeling comfortable about it. In my country, there are laws and policies for the queer. They are not a lot but we have lived with them peacefully overtime.

Since webtoon and Kdrama is one entertaining way of looking or mirroring our lives, some 'puritans' or conservatives may really feel uncomfortable about the idea of watching the queer mainstream. Until today, the issue of accepting queer in society is still polarizing.

Thank you very much for your composition.  I can see very good sentences as well as minute grammatical pointers you need to memorize. Overall, great job!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~

Nowadays some Koreans understand queer easily. But I think South Korea isn't ready to accept the queer.
>> Correct!

Recently the new Korean drama, which title is "Jeong-nyeon", is broadcast every weekend.
>> Correct!
Or: Recently the new Korean drama, which title is "Jeong-nyeon", is (aired/ shown) every weekend.

This drama is based on a popular webtoon of the same name, and tells the story of a Korean women's traditional opera in the 1950s.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

There are many kinds of female characters in this drama, but queer character disappears in the drama.
>> Correct!

This character was loved by fans of webtoon, so many fans get angry after drama is released.
>> This character was loved by fans of webtoon, so many fans got angry after the drama was released.

Also, I told you that the trailer of drama version of "Love in the big city" disappear in the internet.
>> Also, I told you that the trailer of the drama version of "Love in the Big City" disappeared on the internet.

Because some civil group protested collectively, calling it obscene and glorifying homosexuality.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140391 What do you like about your 1st grade teacher? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-13 99
140390 In the modern world, can a person get by with only a smartphone?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-13 97
140389 homework: an intership ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-13 2
140388 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-13 4
140387 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-13 106
140386 11oct2024_homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-13 190
140385 Homework ¾È*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-13 104
140384 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-12 87
140383 Pick one food to represent you. Why did you choose it? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-12 60
140382 my opinion about \"Dislike\" button Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-12 6
140381 personal information ways Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-12 9
140380 regret ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-12 64
140379 Do you enjoy visiting museums or galleries to see art pieces in... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 0
140378 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 145
140377 How do you balance rest and productivity in your daily routine? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 138
140376 >> What are your thoughts on YouTubers or influencers who focus... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 2
140375 What does the concept of \"winning\" mean to you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 1
140374 Scary things ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 140
140373 september.27 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 60
140372 October,11 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 141

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04