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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you do to maintain or improve your mental health?

작성자: 이*윤
2024-10-21 257

회원님의 영작문

It's one of the ways I keep trying because it works so well when I'm sad or depressed with bad results while preparing for employment. It big two steps.
First step, whenever I was sad or depressed, I looked for or tried something else to change my mood.
In my case, I stopped what I was doing for a while and found or tried what I liked to do.
For example, I go to eat my favorite food or meet people I like, or I do something that calms my mental and mind, such as reading books and listening to music.
When it was situation or time when I couldn't do it, I went outside for a short time to take a light walk or run.
Second step, If I changed my mood like that, I tried to think positively.
It's about thinking about good results or thinking about a bright future.
This method can have the effect of lowing anxiety and increasing confidence.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun!~
Knowing that you have ways to maintain your mental health is uplifting. I hope you don't get lost while keeping everything on track. ^^
Chammy

It's one of the ways I keep trying because it works so well when I'm sad or depressed with bad results while preparing for employment. 
OR
>>Since it works so well when I'm depressed or unhappy with poor outcomes when getting ready for a job, it's one of the strategies I keep trying.
It big two steps.
 >> It has two big steps.
First step, whenever I was sad or depressed, I looked for or tried something else to change my mood.
Or
>> First, I tried to find or do something else to lift my spirits whenever I felt down or unhappy.
In my case, I stopped what I was doing for a while and found or tried what I liked to do.
Or
>>I took a break from my current activity for a bit and tried or discovered what I like doing.
For example, I go to eat my favorite food or meet people I like, or I do something that calms my mental and mind, such as reading books and listening to music.
>> For example, I eat my favorite food or meet people I like, or I do something that calms my mind, such as reading books and listening to music.
When it was situation or time when I couldn't do it, I went outside for a short time to take a light walk or run.
>> When it was the situation or time when I couldn't do it, I went outside for a short time to take a light walk or run.
Second step, If I changed my mood like that, I tried to think positively. It's about thinking about good results or thinking about a bright future.
>> Correct
This method can have the effect of lowing anxiety and increasing confidence.
>> This method can have the effect of lowering anxiety and increasing confidence.
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