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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Too many students earning degrees have diluted the value of a bachelor’s degree.

작성자: 안*윤
2024-10-21 341

회원님의 영작문

Maybe, It could be too many colleges, not too many students, which have diluted the value of a bachelor's degree.
Pretty many colleges are being closed because they have not been able to find enough students to enter the colleges, especially in Korea.
Except for how many clolleges there are, quality of their curriculum could be another reason.
They are usually easy to enter and get the bachelor's degree, but students cannot get enough knowledges or skill from them.
It is just same as wasting time and money for students.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey there, Ms. Anna! You’ve got a good point. Indeed, with so many colleges out there, it’s easy for the value of a degree to drop. It’s a bummer that some schools care more about numbers than actually teaching. Definitely feels like a waste of time and money if students aren’t learning what they need!
~T. Jenna

Maybe, it could be too many colleges, not too many students, which have diluted the value of a bachelor's degree.
Correct, or
>>Perhaps the devaluation of a bachelor's degree is primarily due to the surplus of colleges rather than the quantity of students.
Pretty many colleges are being closed because they have not been able to find enough students to enter the colleges, especially in Korea.
Correct, or
>>Numerous colleges are shutting down due to their inability to attract sufficient student enrollment, particularly in Korea.
Except for how many clolleges there are, quality of their curriculum could be another reason.
>>Apart from the number of colleges, the quality of their curriculum could be another reason.
OR
>>In addition to the sheer number of colleges, the quality of their curricula could also be a significant factor.
They are usually easy to enter and get the bachelor's degree, but students cannot get enough knowledges or skill from them.
>>They are usually easy to enter and obtain a bachelor's degree, but students do not gain enough knowledge or skills from them.
OR
>>They are generally easy to enroll in and earn a bachelor's degree; however, students often fail to acquire the necessary knowledge and skills from these programs.
It is just same as wasting time and money for students.
>>It is just the same as wasting time and money for students.
OR
>>It's nothing more than a squandering of time and resources for students.
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