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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

right to protect celebrities\' private lives.

작성자: 박*경
2024-10-17 422

회원님의 영작문

Recently, right of celebrities to have their own private life has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that celebrities can enjoy their private lives and it's their rights, and others argue otherwise. Personally, I believe that both arguments should be given equal weight. In the following essay, the evidence supporting this contention will be discussed alongside relevant examples.
On the one hand, it seems difficult to repute the idea that entertainers' privacy have to be protected. Perhaps the compelling reason is that they are just a person like us, and it's not their obligation to show all aspects of their lives. For this reason, there does seem to be a solid basis for several arguments in favour of safeguarding their privacy.
On the other hand, it seems short-sighted to contend that we shouldn't invade their private lives. The most oft-cited argument against such a view is that the public have a right to know all aspects of their lives.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. Casey! I believe that it could be inevitable for celebrities to not lose their privacy. Though, there are instances wherein it also depends on the personal preference of the celebrity. 
-T. Sonny
Recently, right of celebrities to have their own private life has become the subject of heated debate. 
>>Recently, the right of celebrities to have their privacy has become the subject of a heated debate. 
Some people assert that celebrities can enjoy their private lives and it's their rights, and others argue otherwise.
>>Some people assert that celebrities should be able to enjoy their private lives and that it's their right, but others argue otherwise.
Personally, I believe that both arguments should be given equal weight. 
>>Correct!
In the following essay, the evidence supporting this contention will be discussed alongside relevant examples.
>>Correct!
On the one hand, it seems difficult to repute the idea that entertainers' privacy have to be protected. 
>>On one hand, it seems difficult to repute the idea that entertainers' privacy have to be protected. 
Perhaps the compelling reason is that they are just a person like us, and it's not their obligation to show all aspects of their lives. 
>>One compelling reason is that they are just like us, and it's not their obligation to show all aspects of their lives.
For this reason, there does seem to be a solid basis for several arguments in favour of safeguarding their privacy.
>>For this reason, there does seem to be a solid basis for several arguments in favor of safeguarding their privacy.       
On the other hand, it seems short-sighted to contend that we shouldn't invade their private lives. 
>>Correct!
The most oft-cited argument against such a view is that the public have a right to know all aspects of their lives.
>>The most oft-cited argument against such a view is that the public has a right to know all aspects of their lives.

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첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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