¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever bought something without planning it, and then later wondered, ¡°Why did I buy this?¡±

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áø
2024-10-16 75

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was a young living with my parent, I didn't have to worry about either making or saving money. At that time I was very careless enough that I bought so many things without planning at all. But this is one of my happiest memory ever.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul, 

Thank you for your homework.  It¡¯s great to hear that even though you bought things without planning, those moments have become some of your happiest memories. I believe many people can relate to that feeling. It¡¯s good that you can reflect on your experiences. In your future assignments, try to share more about how those purchases made you feel or what you learned from them. This will add more depth to your writing. Overall, you are doing well, and I encourage you to keep improving your writing skills. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

 

When I was a young living with my parent, I didn't have to worry about either making or saving money.  

>>When I was young and lived with my parents, I didn't have to worry about making or saving money. 

At that time I was very careless enough that I bought so many things without planning at all.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Back then, I was so careless that I bought a lot of things without any planning. 

But this is one of my happiest memory ever. 

>>But this is one of my happiest memories ever. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139247 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 1
139246 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 1
139245 What do you need to prepare when doing a presentation? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 1
139244 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 1
139243 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 2
139242 0818 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 5
139241 Homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-17 6
139240 homrwork day6 ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-17 3
139239 How do you balance relaxation and responsibilities while at home? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-17 702
139238 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 2
139237 What is the best part of your childhood? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 483
139236 The most scaring insect ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 398
139235 Fanfic of Harry Potter ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 439
139234 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 482
139233 2024.08.16 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 471
139232 In order to look good is the most important working out. ÀÌ*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 384
139231 Science subjects that I\'ve learned in school ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 478
139230 16.Aug.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 1
139229 2024.08.15 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 801
139228 If you could have the perfect birthday party, what would it be? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 498

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04