¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever bought something without planning it, and then later wondered, ¡°Why did I buy this?¡±

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áø
2024-10-16 65

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was a young living with my parent, I didn't have to worry about either making or saving money. At that time I was very careless enough that I bought so many things without planning at all. But this is one of my happiest memory ever.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul, 

Thank you for your homework.  It¡¯s great to hear that even though you bought things without planning, those moments have become some of your happiest memories. I believe many people can relate to that feeling. It¡¯s good that you can reflect on your experiences. In your future assignments, try to share more about how those purchases made you feel or what you learned from them. This will add more depth to your writing. Overall, you are doing well, and I encourage you to keep improving your writing skills. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

 

When I was a young living with my parent, I didn't have to worry about either making or saving money.  

>>When I was young and lived with my parents, I didn't have to worry about making or saving money. 

At that time I was very careless enough that I bought so many things without planning at all.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Back then, I was so careless that I bought a lot of things without any planning. 

But this is one of my happiest memory ever. 

>>But this is one of my happiest memories ever. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139424 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139423 What are your favorite kinds of programs or shows? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 505
139422 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139421 The last writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139420 Home work 2 À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 7
139419 Would you like to live in your hometown forever? Why or why not? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 680
139418 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139417 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139416 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 474
139415 Essay: The value of difficult experience do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 474
139414 Have you ever done something silly that you wish you had not... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 543
139413 How do you typically spend your weekends, and what do you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 575
139412 Is anger ever a bad thing? If so, when? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 400
139411 What is your favorite water activity? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 547
139410 The next cutting edge technology after the smartphone ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 465
139409 Agust 21th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 390
139408 The MP3 players is the best device even with its single function ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 484
139407 My train ticket booking preparing Chuseok ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 321
139406 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 419
139405 I\'m addicted to my smartphone! ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 694

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04