¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever bought something without planning it, and then later wondered, ¡°Why did I buy this?¡±

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áø
2024-10-16 48

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was a young living with my parent, I didn't have to worry about either making or saving money. At that time I was very careless enough that I bought so many things without planning at all. But this is one of my happiest memory ever.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Paul, 

Thank you for your homework.  It¡¯s great to hear that even though you bought things without planning, those moments have become some of your happiest memories. I believe many people can relate to that feeling. It¡¯s good that you can reflect on your experiences. In your future assignments, try to share more about how those purchases made you feel or what you learned from them. This will add more depth to your writing. Overall, you are doing well, and I encourage you to keep improving your writing skills. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

 

When I was a young living with my parent, I didn't have to worry about either making or saving money.  

>>When I was young and lived with my parents, I didn't have to worry about making or saving money. 

At that time I was very careless enough that I bought so many things without planning at all.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Back then, I was so careless that I bought a lot of things without any planning. 

But this is one of my happiest memory ever. 

>>But this is one of my happiest memories ever. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139724 What do you think is the easiest job in the world? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 756
139723 What problems do pets create for people? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 422
139722 Having fun at home ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 399
139721 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 384
139720 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 0
139719 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 1
139718 Q) Do you think job satisfaction is more important than salary... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 8
139717 Homework : How do you usually celebrate your birthday ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 160
139716 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 2
139715 homework! ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 423
139714 A food of taking me back ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 398
139713 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 2
139712 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 368
139711 What are your short term and long term goals? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 418
139710 HOMEWORK FOR 09.04.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you enjoy... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 3
139709 Why do you think mountains are important for the environment and... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 454
139708 What¡¯s a plan you made as a kid that you still think about... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 458
139707 Homewrk ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 202
139706 What is the biggest change this world needs? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-05 440
139705 Would life be boring without risk? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04