¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2024-10-15 230

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: How can we reduce crime? With harsher punishments or better education?
A: I think both would be needed.
If people get a better education, then people would know the reason why they shouldn't commit crimes.
Still, there are some people who don't get enough education and they won't commit crimes if they know the punishments are harsher.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Paul!

Thank you for answering your homework.

~T. Divina^^

Here are some considerations:

1. I think both would be needed.
>>I think both are needed.

2. If people get a better education, then people would know the reason why they shouldn't commit crimes.
>>If people get better education, then they will know the reason why they shouldn't commit crimes.

3. Still, there are some people who don't get enough education and they won't commit crimes if they know the punishments are harsher.
>>Still, there are some people who don't get enough education but won't commit crimes once they know the punishments are harsher.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139305 Do you think students in Korea are given enough credit for their... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 0
139304 What is the most important item do you have? Why? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 5
139303 What\'s your weakness? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 12
139302 why Air Arabia? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 10
139301 hobby ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 9
139300 What do you do? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 9
139299 Writing task: Is it important to do some stretching in the... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 462
139298 Writing task: Do you believe dreams have a special meaning? Why... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 650
139297 Fake news ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 846
139296 Writing task: What do you think are the disadvantages of getting... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 643
139295 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 675
139294 success ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 557
139293 appearance is not important maybe ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 547
139292 Do you always believe what people tell you? Why or why not? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 589
139291 How do you decide on your travel destinations? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 677
139290 Is the traditional ways of behavior are no longer relevant to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 554
139289 What are acceptable reasons for missing an appointment? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 463
139288 Q) What do you think is the best thing about being a mother? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139287 Medical emergency ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 935
139286 If all jobs had the same pay, which one would you choose to do? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 668

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04