¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2024-10-15 701

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: How can we reduce crime? With harsher punishments or better education?
A: I think both would be needed.
If people get a better education, then people would know the reason why they shouldn't commit crimes.
Still, there are some people who don't get enough education and they won't commit crimes if they know the punishments are harsher.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Paul!

Thank you for answering your homework.

~T. Divina^^

Here are some considerations:

1. I think both would be needed.
>>I think both are needed.

2. If people get a better education, then people would know the reason why they shouldn't commit crimes.
>>If people get better education, then they will know the reason why they shouldn't commit crimes.

3. Still, there are some people who don't get enough education and they won't commit crimes if they know the punishments are harsher.
>>Still, there are some people who don't get enough education but won't commit crimes once they know the punishments are harsher.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139062 a big fight ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 1
139061 Do you think buffets are a good value for the money? Why or why... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 610
139060 My own Cafe ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 620
139059 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 662
139058 What\'s the worst experience you\'ve had in your hometown? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 678
139057 8/9 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 2
139056 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-09 1
139055 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 2
139054 What are the advantages of using credit cards compared to cash? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 2
139053 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 4
139052 What was the most popular music when you were 12 years old, what... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 925
139051 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 0
139050 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 785
139049 [HW]What body language would you like your country to adopt? Why? °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 832
139048 The negative side on \" Should people become vegetarian? \" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 729
139047 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 1
139046 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 799
139045 What do you think of your class leaders? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 791
139044 Popular car amongst peer ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 762
139043 Writing task: What do you think is the most challenging role for... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-08 854

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04