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영작교정 게시판

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If you were a fruit, what would you be and why?

작성자: 김*경
2024-10-07 1656

회원님의 영작문

If I were a fruit, there are three fruits that I’d like to be. First one is a water melon, which is my favorite fruit. I’d say that I can’t do without water melon in summer. Second fruit that I’d like to be is an apple, which is the representative fruit for healthy fruit. As the old saying goes, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. I want to be as beneficial person as an apple is helpful to others. The last fruit that I want to be is a persimmon, which can be turned into dry persimmon with more values after some treatment. Dry persimmon is one of the most expensive fruits loved by many Koreans in winter. Like dry persimmon, I want to keep adding more values to myself along the process of growth in my life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Steve!

Fruits are rich in fiber and a great source of important vitamins and minerals.
Flavonoids are among the many beneficial antioxidants found in fruits.
Consuming a diet rich in fruits and vegetables can lower an individual's risk of diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and inflammation.

Thank you for this composition. I will see you later in class.^^

Have a good day!

__T. Mayleen :)


If I were a fruit, there are three fruits that I’d like to be. First one is a water melon, which is my favorite fruit. I’d say that I can’t do without water melon in summer.
>>> If I were a fruit, there are three fruits that I’d like to be. The first one is a watermelon, which is my favorite fruit. I’d say that I can't live without watermelon in the summer.
>>> OR: If I could be any fruit, I'd like to be one of three. The first one is a watermelon, my favorite fruit. I'd say I couldn't live without watermelon in the summer.
Second fruit that I’d like to be is an apple, which is the representative fruit for healthy fruit. As the old saying goes, an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
>>> The second fruit that I’d like to be is an apple, which is a representative of healthy fruits. As the old saying goes, an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
I want to be as beneficial person as an apple is helpful to others.
>>> I want to be as beneficial to others as a nutritious apple.
The last fruit that I want to be is a persimmon, which can be turned into dry persimmon with more values after some treatment.
>>> The final fruit I wish to be is a persimmon, which can be dried to gain additional value after some treatment.
Dry persimmon is one of the most expensive fruits loved by many Koreans in winter. Like dry persimmon, I want to keep adding more values to myself along the process of growth in my life.
>>> Dry persimmon is one of the most expensive fruits loved by many Koreans in winter. Like dry persimmon, I want to keep adding more value to myself along the process of growth in my life.
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