¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

07oct2024- homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¶ó
2024-10-07 590

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Writing task: What kinds of things do people have to give up when they have children?

Answer: I think will be most people give up a lot of things, and I feel like I¡®m giving up time especially for me.
My daily life is in line with my children¡¯s time..
this makes me feel lonely and feels like I¡®ve lost myself.

actually I had a depression that is starting to ruin me. So I had been really need to time for me
so I taught my kid to do a lot of things on her self and finally I got a lot of time.

when my daughter were nine years old so I could learn swim everyday morning and learn english! this is made me happy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Ms. Nala! I'm so glad to hear that you are finally finding time for yourself again. It might be a slow progress, but it is still a progress. I'm so proud of you! I hope you continue caring for yourself because you are important, and your  children depends on their strong Mom! Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny 
I think will be most people give up a lot of things, and I feel like I¡®m giving up time especially for me.
>>I think, most people give up a lot of things but, in my case, I have given up time for myself.
My daily life is in line with my children¡¯s time..
>>Correct!
this makes me feel lonely and feels like I¡®ve lost myself.
>>This makes me feel lonely and feel like I¡®ve lost myself.
actually I had a depression that is starting to ruin me. 
>>Actually, I had depression that started to ruin me.
So I had been really need to time for me so I taught my kid to do a lot of things on her self and finally I got a lot of time.
>>So, I had to make time for myself that's why I taught my kid to do a lot of things on her own; that's when I started to get a lot of me-time.
when my daughter were nine years old so I could learn swim everyday morning and learn english!
>When my daughter turned nine, I had the chance to learn how to swim every morning and learn English, too!
this is made me happy.
>>These things made me happy.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141179 What is more important to take care of: mental health or... N Àå*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-11-26 0
141178 Hom work N ½Å*¸° ÁøÇàÁß 2024-11-26 0
141177 What do you think is the best way to end a weekend? N Â÷*Áø ÁøÇàÁß 2024-11-26 72
141176 How can we be good friends to others? N ÀÌ*Èñ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-11-26 0
141175 homework N ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 0
141174 How do you choose which movie to watch? By the genre? The... N ¹Ú*½Ä ÁøÇàÁß 2024-11-26 0
141173 Very common, Very important N ¾È*ÀÎ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-11-26 0
141172 Home work N ½Å*¶ó ÁøÇàÁß 2024-11-26 0
141171 Homework N ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1
141170 Homework N ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 85
141169 Do you think it\'s necessary to wear a dress shirt at work? Why... N ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 91
141168 What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a sibling? N ÇÑ*¿¬ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-11-26 89
141167 Homework N ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 105
141166 being dentist N ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 0
141165 dentist N ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 1
141164 What¡¯s the most unforgettable experience you¡¯ve had with your... N ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 113
141163 Interview self introduction N ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 16
141162 It\'s a message that makes childhood is so tired. N ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2024-11-26 95
141161 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 2
141160 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04