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What do you think about adopting pets from shelters?

작성자: 김*린
2024-10-04 647

회원님의 영작문

I'm very positive about adopting pets from shelters. These days, there are many abandoned pets like dogs and cats and you can see them in the street as well. I think lots of people don't have much responsibility for having a pet. They just buy or take it as a doll not living things. Consequently, the number of abandoned pets are raising. Moreover a pet shop is not good because a owner partly crosses into popular breeds and a environment is poor, too. Thus when someone wants to have a pet, having a pet form shelters is a good way. Actually my cousin had a dog from a shelter, he felt empathetic and gave more love to his dog. Now the dog got happy and my cousin too.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey there, Lin! I really appreciate your positive attitude toward adopting pets from shelters! You're right that many animals need loving homes, and it's crucial for pet owners to understand the responsibilities involved. Your cousin's experience shows how rewarding adoption can be, not just for the pet but for the owner as well.
~T. Jenna

I'm very positive about adopting pets from shelters. 
Correct, or
>>I'm all for adopting pets from shelters.
These days, there are many abandoned pets like dogs and cats and you can see them in the street as well. 
Correct, or
>>These days, there are a lot of abandoned pets, like dogs and cats, wandering the streets.
I think lots of people don't have much responsibility for having a pet. 
Correct, or
>>I believe many people lack a sense of responsibility when it comes to pet ownership.
They just buy or take it as a doll not living things. 
>>They just buy or treat them like dolls, not living things.
Consequently, the number of abandoned pets are raising. 
>> Consequently, the number of abandoned pets is rising.
Moreover, a pet shop is not good because a owner partly crosses into popular breeds and a environment is poor, too. 
>>Moreover, a pet shop is not good because the owner partly crosses breeds to create popular mixed breeds, and the environment is poor as well.
Thus, when someone wants to have a pet, having a pet form shelters is a good way. 
>> Thus, when someone wants to have a pet, adopting a pet from shelters is a good way / option.
OR
>>Thus, when someone wants to have a pet, adopting a pet from shelters is a commendable choice.
Actually my cousin had a dog from a shelter, he felt empathetic and gave more love to his dog. 
>>Actually, my cousin adopted a dog from a shelter; he felt empathetic and gave it more love.
OR
>>Actually, my cousin adopted a dog from a shelter, and due to his empathetic nature, he lavished it with even more affection.
Now the dog got happy and my cousin too.
>>Now the dog is happy, and so is my cousin.
OR
>>Now, both the dog and my cousin are thriving in happiness.
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