¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think about adopting pets from shelters?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¸°
2024-10-04 55

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm very positive about adopting pets from shelters. These days, there are many abandoned pets like dogs and cats and you can see them in the street as well. I think lots of people don't have much responsibility for having a pet. They just buy or take it as a doll not living things. Consequently, the number of abandoned pets are raising. Moreover a pet shop is not good because a owner partly crosses into popular breeds and a environment is poor, too. Thus when someone wants to have a pet, having a pet form shelters is a good way. Actually my cousin had a dog from a shelter, he felt empathetic and gave more love to his dog. Now the dog got happy and my cousin too.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey there, Lin! I really appreciate your positive attitude toward adopting pets from shelters! You're right that many animals need loving homes, and it's crucial for pet owners to understand the responsibilities involved. Your cousin's experience shows how rewarding adoption can be, not just for the pet but for the owner as well.
~T. Jenna

I'm very positive about adopting pets from shelters. 
Correct, or
>>I'm all for adopting pets from shelters.
These days, there are many abandoned pets like dogs and cats and you can see them in the street as well. 
Correct, or
>>These days, there are a lot of abandoned pets, like dogs and cats, wandering the streets.
I think lots of people don't have much responsibility for having a pet. 
Correct, or
>>I believe many people lack a sense of responsibility when it comes to pet ownership.
They just buy or take it as a doll not living things. 
>>They just buy or treat them like dolls, not living things.
Consequently, the number of abandoned pets are raising. 
>> Consequently, the number of abandoned pets is rising.
Moreover, a pet shop is not good because a owner partly crosses into popular breeds and a environment is poor, too. 
>>Moreover, a pet shop is not good because the owner partly crosses breeds to create popular mixed breeds, and the environment is poor as well.
Thus, when someone wants to have a pet, having a pet form shelters is a good way. 
>> Thus, when someone wants to have a pet, adopting a pet from shelters is a good way / option.
OR
>>Thus, when someone wants to have a pet, adopting a pet from shelters is a commendable choice.
Actually my cousin had a dog from a shelter, he felt empathetic and gave more love to his dog. 
>>Actually, my cousin adopted a dog from a shelter; he felt empathetic and gave it more love.
OR
>>Actually, my cousin adopted a dog from a shelter, and due to his empathetic nature, he lavished it with even more affection.
Now the dog got happy and my cousin too.
>>Now the dog is happy, and so is my cousin.
OR
>>Now, both the dog and my cousin are thriving in happiness.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139530 longevity ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139529 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 407
139528 Why air arabia? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 4
139527 homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 3
139526 HOMEWORK FOR 08.28.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you hope for today? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 3
139525 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 460
139524 What were mornings like in your house when you were a kid? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 351
139523 The popular kids in school ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 414
139522 Japanese ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139521 Write about the importance of setting goals. How do personal... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 411
139520 Write about a time when you had to work in a team. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 425
139519 27.Aug.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 0
139518 What are the things you provide for your loved ones? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 395
139517 Think about a time when you struggled with procrastination on a... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 376
139516 Who do you think is the most beautiful person alive today? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 485
139515 Reflect on a time when you faced midweek challenges. How did you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 286
139514 Q) Do you think ambience is important in restaurants? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139513 Do you think children need to learn patience? How can parents or... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 385
139512 Regular customer ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 429
139511 If you could choose any weather for the perfect day off, what... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 374

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04