¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-10-03 1284

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

***********************
HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Others say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Education is good method for personal ambitions. It needs more information to success, and more information needs studing.
But on the other hand, it is good element of development beneficial to society.
There are all right answer, anybody don't say that other opinion are wrong. But, I think education is stronger society side.
If there is only personal ambition, many nations waste a lot of time and money.
The reason that they do compulsory education is that it helps the development of the country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~! ^^ Great job! Your essay clearly shows your understanding of the dispute and its key issues, and you explained everything in an easy-to-follow manner.

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

Education is good method for personal ambitions.

>>> Education is a valuable tool for achieving personal goals.

It needs more information to success, and more information needs studying.

>>> It requires knowledge to succeed, and to acquire knowledge, studying is necessary.  

But on the other hand, it is good element of development beneficial to society.

>>> On the other hand, education is a key factor in societal development and benefits everyone.
There are all right answer, anybody don't say that other opinion are wrong. 

>>> All opinions are valid; no one is saying that other viewpoints are wrong.

But, I think education is stronger society side.

>>> However, I believe education is a key strength for society.

If there is only personal ambition, many nations waste a lot of time and money.

>>> If people focus solely on personal ambition, many nations end up wasting time and money.

The reason that they do compulsory education is that it helps the development of the country.

>>> Compulsory education helps with the country's development. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140343 What do you usually order in your favorite restaurant? Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 1444
140342 When you were a student, what clubs do you remember joining, and... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 1463
140341 In your opinion, what does the expression \"happiness is a... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1321
140340 Music is spice everything up. ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1732
140339 >> Do you ever worry about other people listening to your mobile... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 2
140338 What qualities do you value most in a friend, and why? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1647
140337 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 3
140336 Abandoned stuff ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1951
140335 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1696
140334 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 0
140333 What\'s your favorite summer sport? Why? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 2
140332 How do you view people who are very passionate about politics? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 2
140331 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1642
140330 I\'ve been using my cell phone since I was young. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 2054
140329 Q) Did you ever watch a movie not because of the story but... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 0
140328 my friend ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 0
140327 help ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1
140326 listen carefully ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1615
140325 School home work Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1612
140324 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-09 1531

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04