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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Has social media made it easier to get famous? Is this good or bad?

작성자: 박*식
2024-10-03 510

회원님의 영작문

I agree with the statement that social media made it easier to get famous and there are positive effects. There are two reasons why I agree with this.

First of all, most of the people use social media so, there is an opportunity to become famous even if you're not a celebrity. To explain, the person who is famous on Youtube platform can be a famous if he can do amazing things. Such as magic and singing. For example, the singer, Benson Boone who is famous in TikTok, He became a famous star now a day.

Second, social media can make a global fan. Even if we are not a famous at first time, there are different diversity cultures in global field. There is an opportunity to become famous in global. However, it is important that this global exposure also comes with challenges. As individuals gain fame, they often face increased pressure from the public. The demands of maintaining a public spotlight can be overwhelming, and not everyone is prepared for the spotlight.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Mr. Hongshik! You have explained very good points on this topic. I particularly liked how you concluded your answer. Thanks for sharing!
-T. Sonny
I agree with the statement that social media made it easier to get famous and there are positive effects. 
>>I agree with the statement that social media has made it easier to get famous and there are positive effects. 
There are two reasons why I agree with this.
>>Correct!
First of all, most of the people use social media so, there is an opportunity to become famous even if you're not a celebrity. 
>>First of all, most people use social media so, there is an opportunity to become famous even if you're not a celebrity. 
To explain, the person who is famous on Youtube platform can be a famous if he can do amazing things.  Such as magic and singing. 
>>To explain, a person who is famous on the YouTube platform can be famous if he can do amazing things, such as magic and singing. 
For example, the singer, Benson Boone who is famous in TikTok, He became a famous star now a day.
>>For example, the singer, Benson Boone who is famous in TikTok, has become a famous star nowadays.
Second, social media can make a global fan. 
>>Second, social media can generate global fans. 
Even if we are not a famous at first time, there are different diversity cultures in global field. 
>>Even if we are not famous at first, there is diversity in cultures in the global field. 
There is an opportunity to become famous in global. 
>>There is an opportunity to become famous in globally. 
However, it is important that this global exposure also comes with challenges. 
>>However, it is important to know that this global exposure also comes with challenges. 
As individuals gain fame, they often face increased pressure from the public. 
>>Correct!
The demands of maintaining a public spotlight can be overwhelming, and not everyone is prepared for the spotlight.
>>The demands of maintaining a public spotlight can be overwhelming, and not everyone is prepared for it.


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